Crammed With Heaven

The Game Plan

2011-12-10T19:44:00.001-10:00

I am lucky enough to be able to spend a nice long holiday with my parents this year, and I am so excited to go home for Christmas! And to see my awesome big brother, who I haven't seen for something like TWO YEARS. That is entirely too long! The kids are super excited, of course, and going nuts over the possibility that they might actually get to see snow this winter. (We've promised them that we'll make a trip to the mountains or something if the snow doesn't show up at Grandma's house.) So we're all looking forward to a pretty good time. The only thing I haven't been looking forward to is the fact that traveling and staying in someone else's house, especially when combined with the inevitable holiday goodies, doesn't exactly bode well for the old weight loss efforts. So I took to heart the words "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail" and came up with a game plan for my Christmas vacation. I'm really hoping to keep the weight loss going all the way through so I don't set myself back another month like I did with R&R. So here's the plan:

Log food and exercise every day. Yes, every day. Even if there are really bad days. I've mentioned before that I use Lose It! to track my calories, but I haven't really conveyed what a crucial part of my weight loss it has been. Keeping track of how much I take in and how much I burn takes the mystery out of weight loss and makes it logical and straightforward and doable. Logging keeps me focused and keeps me disciplined, and even on days when I overeat my budget, knowing that I have to remember and record what I eat makes such a big difference.
Get at least 30 min of exercise, 5 days per week. This shouldn't be too much of a problem, since I will have someone to help with the kids (yay!). Although running outside in the cold will probably be a huge shock to my system! I'm also hoping to get in some fun workouts on my little bro's punching bag.
Always eat sitting down, with my food on a plate. This is something I'm working on lately anyway, but I think if I can stick to it over the vacation it will really help cut down on the random unnecessary snacking. Even if it's just moving something from the box to a plate and then sitting down to eat it, when you make food something that has to be prepared it makes you think about how much you really want to eat it. Do you really want it or are you just eating it because it's there and it's easy? Also, not eating out of a package forces you to choose (and see) your portion size and gives you a natural stopping point, so you are more likely to feel satisfied when you are finished.
Don't do anything else while eating. No watching TV, surfing the web, or even reading. Talking is allowed, though. :) Focusing on really tasting and enjoying the food leads to a much greater sense of satisfaction. This is something I have totally learned from experience lately! I enjoy food so much more now than I did when I was constantly eating. It really seems to taste better!
As soon as possible, go shopping for my go-to foods. It will be important to keep on hand the foods that keep me on track.
Plan for indulgences. I am not foolish enough to think I can get through Christmas without enjoying some treats, nor would I even want to try! That's part of the fun and joy of the season. But as much as I am able, I want to plan ahead for the indulgences and store up a "calorie buffer" to make room for them. I'm sure there will be a few days where I go a little over my calorie budget, buffer or not, but I want those times to be times when I made a decision instead of just got lazy.
Keep my hands (and mind) busy. I'm planning on jumping into some knitting and/or sewing projects when I get there. When I have something to do I really don't think too much about eating.
Offer to cook. I plan on helping out a lot with the cooking. My dad and I have already decided that we'll sit down together and plan some good healthy dinners. I've already come up with some ideas that everybody should be able to live with.
Prepare healthy sides for Christmas dinner. I really want to enjoy all the usual stuff, but I'd also like to find some awesome healthy side dishes to fill up on too. So I don't have to feel guilty about the blackberry pie for dessert! (There will be blackberry pie, won't there Mom??)
Keep the goodies out of sight! The saying "out of sight, out of mind" applies to nothing more than food! I generally don't walk around the house feeling like I really need to have cookies or fudge or whatever, but if there's a plate of them sitting on the counter, you betcha I'm going to feel like I can't live without some! So whatever delicious goodies show up at the house, I'll be stashing them in the cupboard every chance I get.
'Tis the season for forgiveness. I refuse to feel guilty and beat myself up if I don't do everything just like I've planned. I will just move on and do better the next day.

I've already talked about some of this stuff with my parents and I am happy to say that they are nothing but supportive. I know a lot of people really have to struggle with their families when they try to change their lifestyle and I can't imagine how much harder that would make things. I'm so grateful to have a family that is totally in my corner!

So what do you think? Am I crazy? Is my plan missing anything? I may not be blogging much (if at all) until the new year, so if I don't get another chance to say it... Merry Christmas, everybody!

Cardio makes me cry

2011-11-29T13:46:00.001-10:00

Does this ever happen to anyone else? Intense cardio (mainly running, but it also happened in spin class today) totally makes me cry. And not in the "oh, this sucks so bad I want to cry" sense, but in the "all of a sudden I'm so overwhelmed with emotions I have to cry" sense. It's probably some kind of crazy brain chemistry thing triggered by the release of endorphins or whatever, but it's not something I've ever seen or heard of before. I have to say, it makes me feel pretty silly to burst into tears while I'm pounding away at the treadmill in the middle of the gym. I always sweat so much that the tears just blend in, so people probably wouldn't even notice except that I can't keep my face from contorting into crying person face. It's actually not that bad--it doesn't last very long so it's not like I'm sobbing all over the place or anything. It's a good reminder, though, how much my mental stability requires regular exercise. I think there's a lot of stress that I just don't let myself process and exercise has become the way I do that. I used to eat my stress, now I just try to outrun it.

There are so many good things to report on the weight loss front this week. You may remember from my post a few weeks ago that I was not doing so hot for a while there. I really fell into a nasty funk after Tim left and, try as I might, I couldn't seem to shake it. I was so discouraged by the weight that I'd gained and had such a hard time getting back into a groove. I don't think I considered giving up on my goal altogether, but I was definitely considering coming up with some pansy wimp-out modifications to it. But thanks to the encouragement of my awesome friends and family (you guys!!) and some good advice from other Lose It! users, I just decided to buckle down and push through it, to keep logging my food and forcing myself to work out (gym care or not!). Almost as soon as I made that decision my motivation reappeared. Just the act of deciding that I wasn't going to let a little case of the blues defeat me turned everything around. And the last week has been awesome. My workouts have been hard core, I've been eating under my calorie budget without really even trying, and my mood has done a complete 180.

Here is a taste of the awesomeness from this week:

Yesterday and today I did the WHOLE ab workout in my fitness classes without stopping. I have NEVER in my life finished an ab workout without having to stop in the middle (usually several times)! Can I just tell you how amazing that feels?!
I discovered that I can do 29 push-ups in a minute. Real push-ups! I could totally pass the push-up and sit-up portions of the Army PT test. (The 2 mile run still needs some serious work, though, don't get too excited.)
I have dropped almost all of the weight I put on over R&R. I set myself back about a month on my goal, but I've made peace with that and now I'm just thrilled to be moving in the right direction again.
Ok, this is super embarrassing, but check out the size of these quads:

I know, body builder legs, right? Yikes!

I've also noticed some great improvements in my flexibility, posture, and energy level. Exercise really does do all the stuff they say! Imagine that.

At the end of spin class this morning the instructor told us to "own the song"-- to do whatever we wanted, but to do it as hard as we could for the whole song. So, just like she said, I put my head down, ignored the people around me, and pretty much all-out sprinted for the next five minutes. I was thinking about everything that has happened this month, and how amazed I am that I've made it to this place. I thought about what it will feel like to reach my goal, and the reasons I'm doing all of this to begin with. And I thought, "If I can do this, I can do anything. How can anything seem out of reach if I can master this?" And then I started to cry again. I just kept my head down and let it flow.

Family pics

2011-11-27T22:13:00.001-10:00

A big thank you to our friend Sabrina for offering to take these photos for us! I love how they turned out.

The best two weeks

2011-11-27T10:31:00.001-10:00

So I'm finally getting around to posting about R&R, only a few weeks late. It's really hard to describe what it feels like to see the love of your life again after being apart for 7 months, so I won't really try. And I didn't get a lot of good pictures because dang it all if I wasn't going to enjoy every minute and not from behind a camera! So this is what you get.

Waiting anxiously at the airport. The slowest half hour of our lives! It was so awesome to finally see him appear in the doorway and then just hug him and hug him. Then everybody started applauding and none of us knew what to do. So I started crying and we went home.

These two boys are as much in love as they ever were.

We did a lot of fun stuff that I didn't get pictures of--ice skating, bowling, the beach, some other stuff I can't remember because I didn't take pictures, and, unfortunately, Chuck E. Cheese. I really don't like Chuck E. Cheese, but this trip was actually pretty good.

Pizza and movie night. (Pie and film night?)

We got all dressed up (ok, only the kids dressed up) for the Trunk or Treat. Aren't they the most adorable kids ever? I think Forrest should just wear that cowboy costume all the time.

We shot off a rocket! Tim had been wanting to do a model rocket with the kids for a while and it was so much fun. Luckily it didn't land on anybody's house and the MPs didn't show up to see who was shooting rockets at the helicopters flying over.

Then we got all dressed up again for real trick-or-treating. Forrest couldn't decide what he wanted to be so he got to have two costumes this year. Cuz I'm nice like that. They got a ton of candy, of course. And I stole a lot of it, of course.

Once Halloween was over we moved right on to Christmas. We made some ornaments and put up the tree. Tim gave the kids their presents from him. I'm glad we got to share a little bit of Christmas with Daddy.

It sure was hard having to say goodbye again when the two weeks were over, but we really did have a wonderful little vacation together (key word: "little"). Just can't wait for the next homecoming! We miss you, Timmy!

This is a grumpy post.

2011-11-10T17:11:00.001-10:00

I apologize in advance that this post will consist primarily of complaints and self-pity.

I will do a post about R&R when I am in a better mood. Because it really was wonderful and I don't think I can come up with happy enough words to convey that at the moment.

This week I am very disappointed in myself and very frustrated with the army. I always figured that when Tim was home I would relax a little with the weight loss and just try to maintain for that two weeks. Instead I turned into a total pig and gained 5 pounds. In two weeks. The stupid thing is that Tim and I have both been making major progress at eating healthier while we've been apart. It's frustrating that it's so easy to fall back into old patterns. I know that we were kind of in vacation mode and I hope that it will be different when he comes home for real, but it actually really scares me. I am so afraid that when I finally get to my goal I will just let it all go and become the typical yo-yo diet story. I can't bear the thought of having to track my calories every day for the rest of my life, but I honestly don't know if I can control myself without doing it. I'm just so freaking tired of thinking about food. It seems like I'm either fat and thinking about what to eat all the time or losing weight and thinking about what to eat all the time. I just want my brain to be free to think about something else.

To make matters worse, the child care situation for going to the gym has become a total nightmare. It is becoming pretty much impossible to get any time reserved because the word has gotten out about it and the program is totally overloaded. I guess that the only way to get reservations now is to go sit outside the office at 7:00 am on Friday mornings, which I can't do because I have to get Clara to school. It's so discouraging because gym care is the piece of the puzzle that makes the rest of my life work right now. Without it I can't go to the gym, which is not only what keeps me losing weight but also what keeps my mental health in a good place. Without a workout I really struggle to eat well and my mood suffers a lot. I do try to work out at home, but it's just a lot harder. When I have gym care reserved I just have to do it; it makes it automatic and easy. If Forrest ever gets into preschool it would accomplish the same thing, but he's been on the waiting list for 7 months already, so I'm not holding onto hope of that happening any time before Tim comes home. I'm just feeling really fed up with the Army offering us all these "benefits" that are next to impossible to use because they won't allocate the necessary resources to the programs.

And I hate my stupid messy house. And I hate cleaning it almost as much. And I hate it that even when I do clean it it still looks like a crap hole because, well, it is a crap hole.

When your spouse is deployed you get into a groove; it sucks pretty bad at first, but after a while you learn to cope with the suckiness and stop noticing it as much. Then they come home for R&R and it's so awesome. You remember how things were, how things are supposed to be. You remember that once upon a time, you didn't have to be strong and independent and do everything yourself. And then it's so hard to go back. Being strong and independent is pretty overrated, if you ask me.

If you actually read all of that, you are a better friend than I am. Thanks for letting me get it out of my system.

55 in 52: 28 weeks

2011-10-21T09:22:00.004-10:00

Starting weight: 185

Goal weight: 130

Current weight: 154

Lost so far: 31 pounds

It's been a while since I updated y'all on my progress here, but things are still going well! Actually, my weight loss really seems to happen in fits and starts. I'll go for a few weeks working really hard and losing nothing and then all of a sudden, for no apparent reason, I'll lose several pounds over a few days. I'm not complaining, though, as long as I'm losing I don't care how it happens!

To be honest, I am feeling pretty darn pleased with myself lately. I have sailed past the halfway point to my big goal, and yesterday morning I met my mini-goal of getting down to my wedding weight before R&R! I am so proud of myself!

So here's a little review:

When Tim left in April, 185 pounds

16 weeks, 168 pounds

Today, 28 weeks, 154 pounds

One of these days I'll buy some smaller clothes so that you can actually see my body in these pictures, but I think the change is still visible. Those blue and orange shirts are the actually the same shirt in the same size, so you can tell that they've gotten a bit roomier.

I don't really have that much to say today, just that I am really enjoying the ride right now. Hope you all have a great weekend, I know I will! ;)

55 in 52: 20 weeks (and I am not obese!)

2011-09-03T14:40:00.003-10:00

Starting weight: 185
Goal weight: 130
Current weight: 163
Lost so far: 22 pounds

Today I finally saw the number 163 appear on my scale. It seems like a pretty random number to get excited about, but I've been waiting for this one for a while. Why? Because at 5'2", 163 pounds puts my BMI at 29.8, which means that I am no longer categorized as obese (still overweight, yes, but not obese). It's kind of silly because I've actually never put much stock in the BMI as a measure of health, but I actually started to cry a little bit when I saw that number on the scale this morning. I try not to care too much about categories and statistics, but I have to admit it feels good to know that that word doesn't describe me anymore.

I believe that this process is teaching me a lot about persistence and commitment. I have had a lot of bad days since I started this, a lot of days where I ate all the wrong things or skipped a workout (or both). A lot of days where it just seemed really hard (although, thankfully, a lot of days where it seemed easy, too). But I can honestly say that I haven't once considered giving up. I am getting better at just letting the bad days roll off and reminding myself that just because today is hard doesn't mean tomorrow will be. Even if it happens slower than I would like, I will get there.

One last thing. At a Relief Society meeting this week we learned about yoga and meditation. I want to try to do a little meditating and I was looking for mantras or affirmations to repeat to myself that might help with the weight loss (yes, I'm kind of a hippie, get over it). This was my favorite: "I treat my body with love and kindness." Isn't that really what this is all about? I'm not depriving my body when I turn down junk food, I'm showing it kindness by choosing something that will help it function and feel better. I'm not punishing my body by pushing really hard in my workouts, I'm showing it love by making it stronger. I really want to try to remember that every day.

I'm really kind of soapbox-y, aren't I?

Evenings are the worst

2011-08-25T21:56:00.000-10:00

I never feel lonelier than I do in the evenings. I put the kids to bed and then sit in front of the computer in a futile attempt to connect with other human beings. I check facebook over and over, even though I know that everyone I love is fast asleep across the ocean. I click around on Hulu, but there's nothing interesting there (can the fall TV season just start already?!). I am too tired and too bored to force myself to clean up, so I sit around in a mess that only adds to the restlessness. There is no one to recount my day to, to sort out the significant and insignificant, to put it all to rest, and without that the days just never feel finished. Some days I give up early and just go to bed at 9:00. Other days I'm not that smart.

Today something really threw me for a loop that shouldn't have. I was feeling sad and selfish and angry; shaking my fist at the heavens and having a good cry. This song came on Pandora and kind of shook me up. Have you ever had one of those moments where a song or a movie or a piece of art speaks to you so clearly that it just shocks you, like your heart has just been defibrillated or something? It was as if the song was saying to me, "This is what you believe, Amy, remember? Through all of the disappointments and doubts and uncertainty, this much you have never questioned. Hold onto this, at least." It feels silly to owe an epiphany like that to John Mayer, but there it is.

The Heart of Life

I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

I know it's good

55 in 52: 18 weeks, 20 lbs.

2011-08-17T18:37:00.000-10:00

Starting weight: 185
Goal weight: 130
Current weight: 165
Lost so far: 20 lbs

Huzzah! I finally made it to 20 lbs this week! It is SO HARD for me to be patient, I feel like it has taken forever to get to this point. I think the problem is that I weigh myself way too often. My scale is like crack, it just keeps pulling me back to it. I even try to put it away on a high shelf in the closet, but it never stays there for long. It can't be healthy to be so obsessed with that silly number.

I discovered a book this week that is threatening to change my life. I will tell you about it here, but read it at your own risk. You may never see food the same way again (but if you're like me, that's probably a good thing).

The cover makes it look like just your typical crazy diet book, but it is actually an incredibly well-supported argument for completely overhauling the way we eat, and it's much more concerned with health and longevity than weight loss. Dr. Fuhrman's basic premise is that the typical American diet is the main contributing factor for diseases like diabetes and cancer (and many others) because it is profoundly nutrient deficient and does not provide our bodies with the tools to fight and prevent disease. His recommendation is that we dramatically increase our consumption of unrefined plant foods (unprocessed fruits, veggies, beans, whole grains), to 90% of our caloric intake. This is his version of the food pyramid:

When I first started reading his dietary recommendations, I have to admit I thought he was a little crazy and that it would be near impossible for me to eat that way (for example, he recommends that we shoot for a POUND of raw vegetables and a POUND of cooked vegetables PER DAY, although he does recognize that most people probably won't get there most of the time). But I've really been trying for the last week or so and I've actually been getting a lot closer than I thought I could, although I will admit to falling off the wagon a few times. Ok, several times. But perfection isn't the point. When I'm doing well with it I feel an enormous difference in my body. After the first few days (when I was pretty darn cranky, to be honest) I really started to see a lot of little differences and noticing how much better I felt. And my sugar cravings have been SO much better, almost gone completely (which is pretty much unbelievable to me). The hardest part is just figuring out how to work in all those vegetables! It's a whole lot of vegetables. And salad has never been my thing, but I'm getting there.

I'll just say that if anybody does happen to read the book, don't let it scare you! Better to incorporate as much as you can than to say "that's impossible" and chuck the whole idea out the window. When I read all of the research and evidence he presented to back up his claims about nutrition and disease I was pretty convinced and I just felt like I had to give it my best try. I'll probably never be perfect at it, but I'm sure I'll be a lot healthier for the effort, regardless.

Ok, done preaching.

Because it's better than sitting still.

2011-08-07T18:17:00.000-10:00

Today we skipped church because I've had a pretty nasty sore throat since yesterday. It didn't take long for us all to start grumping at each other, so I decided we should go on a walk to the park. I had been watching the movie Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead (which I found quite inspiring, even though the juice fasting thing probably is not for me), so I was really mulling over my diet and weight goals as we walked. By the time we got to the park, the last thing I wanted to do was just sit on a bench and watch the kids play, so I decided to walk laps around the playground. There were several other kids there and by the time I'd gone around 4 or 5 times one of them called out, "Why are you walking around the playground?" I smiled to myself and called back, "Because it's better than sitting still!" He gave me kind of a puzzled look and went back to playing.

Anyway, then I got to thinking about what I said and wondering how much of my day I actually spend sitting. I don't think I could even guess. So I think that tomorrow I am going to use my stopwatch and actually track how much of my day I spend sitting. And in addition to my more specific exercise, diet, and weight goals, I'm setting myself a more general goal to just spend less time sitting still.

I was also thinking about how well my comment applies to my life in a more metaphorical way. There are aspects of my life in which I've just been sitting still for a long time. This weight loss is about so much more than my body; it's about reclaiming myself. It's about getting my life moving again, rediscovering the things that I have lost. And the weight is really just the beginning. Sometimes that feels overwhelming, but it all comes down to the quote that Angie pinned the other day: "Losing weight is hard. Maintaining weight is hard. Staying fat is hard. Choose your hard." Changing your life is hard. Sitting still might seem easier, but really it's just as hard in a different way, maybe even harder. As much as I want life to be easy, I guess it probably never will be. So do I embrace that fact and find a way to be who I want to be despite it, or do I keep sitting still and let it beat me?

I think I'll go now, I've been sitting still too long. ;)

55 in 52: No, I haven't given up!

2011-08-05T17:30:00.000-10:00

Starting weight: 185
Goal weight: 130
Current weight: 168
Lost so far: 17 lbs.

Summer vacation is officially over! I spent the last few days in recovery, curled up on the couch doing a lot of nothing, and now I'm feeling much better. I put in a pretty decent workout today and reserved Forrest's gym care for next week so I can settle in to gym rat life again. I am actually SO excited about that.

Obviously I haven't been updating much for the last, oh, month or so and I've actually had a couple of you call me on it (kindly, of course, because that's how you people are), which I really appreciate! One of you has even suggested that I post photos of this process. I've actually gone back and forth on the photo question since I decided to blog the weight loss to begin with, and the thought of it still seems weird, but who am I to defy the will of the masses? ;)

I never really took an official before picture, so this will have to do:

April 2010, 185 lbs.

And this is me today, at week 16 (I think):

August 5 2010, 168 lbs.

So you can see some progress there. I think the biggest difference is in my face. (And are you loving my flip-flop tan?)

And just for fun, here are some waaaay "before" pictures from my heaviest point, dang near 200 lbs.

January 2009, 198 lbs.

And I was even sucking in in that picture! ;)

But the next picture is my favorite picture of my progress so far:

A few weeks ago I discovered that my engagement ring fits again. I haven't been able to wear it for probably 5 years or so because it's been too small (yes, I know that they can size rings, I just never got around to it, ok?). Now it fits comfortably again! Just in time for anniversary #8. It makes me so happy to look down and see it on my hand again.

In addition to my big goal, which I am amazingly still on track for (I say "amazingly" because I haven't exactly been a model of self-discipline this last month), I've set a mini-goal for myself to get down to my wedding weight by the time Tim comes home for R&R. It's a very doable goal as long as I keep focused. I'm feeling really motivated again all of a sudden (proof: I haven't eaten a single piece of my left-over birthday cake today. I haven't really even wanted to!), so I hope to have some good results to report soon!

We'll be so glad...

2011-06-19T20:19:00.000-10:00

Since Tim had to miss the customary Father's Day singing at church, we thought we'd stage our own version. We love you, Daddy! We can't wait to wrap our arms around your neck and give you great big kisses! Mwa!

55 in 52: 9 weeks, 14 pounds

2011-06-15T08:19:00.000-10:00

Starting weight: 185
Goal weight: 130
Current weight: 171
Lost so far: 14 lbs

So I haven't been terribly consistent with my weigh-ins here, but life has been a wee bit stressful this last month and there wasn't a lot of weight coming off. Not that I should only write if I'm being successful, but sometimes there are just bigger fish to fry.

I did finally start losing again this last weekend, but I can't exactly take credit for it, since it was only because I was puking and feeling yucky and not eating much. I guess I'll take what I can get, though. I'm feeling better now, hopefully I can keep the momentum going.

I think this next month is just going to be about keeping my head above water. If I can get through this month, we'll have fun visitors at the end of July and then it's back to school (and the gym!). But I really am going to try to keep the exercise going strong and work in more fruits and veggies, because I know that I need it for my mental and emotional state even more than my body right now. It is hard enough to beat back the stress and depression, I don't need to sabotage myself with laziness and sugar! I know that it really does make a big difference.

I am still hopeful, still motivated, and still on track for my goal. No complaints.

Tonight's bedtime conversation with the Li'l Colonel

2011-06-09T20:52:00.002-10:00

"Mommy, I just want Daddy to come home."

"I know, buddy, I do too. And Daddy misses you so much. He wishes he could come home."

"But the army won't let him come home."

"Not for a while, but they'll let him come home when he's done. ...Forrest, do you know what Daddy is doing over there?"

He nods, but is silent.

"There are some really mean people there, and they are doing mean things to the other people who live there, and Daddy is there to try to stop the mean people and help the good people."

The worry lifts from his face and his eyes light up, he smiles and gasps and says,

"Mommy! When I grow up and be a daddy, I can do that too when I go there!"

I sure hope it doesn't ever come to that, little man, but you and your daddy sure do make me proud.

Shopping with kids

2011-06-01T20:30:00.000-10:00

One of the most annoying things about being a temporary single parent is that, now that Clara's out of school, I almost always have to take both kids with me when I go shopping. Today we needed to make a trip to the craft store to get some supplies to make Daddy's father's day present. I thought that the kids might actually think it was fun to go pick stuff out, but I was wrong. Getting out the door in the first place was bad enough (oh, the whining!), but things got worse when we got to the store. They had been offered the customary and totally ineffective treat bribe, but even with that incentive they were not exactly in the most patient mood. But things weren't going too bad, we were looking around and had chosen a couple of things pretty quickly.

Then Clara noticed the dog. Some idiot lady had brought her dog into the store. (Look, I know this is Hawaii, people, but really? Your dog? In the craft store?) For those who may not know, Clara has an extreme fear of dogs. So of course, she shifted immediately into freak-out mode. I got her away from the dog and was trying to keep her calm while quickly searching the store for the rest of the stuff we needed to get, when suddenly I noticed a smell. An unpleasant smell. A distinctly... poopy smell. Yep, you guessed it. Forrest had just let 'er rip in his underwear. So I frantically dragged Freaky and Stinky around the rest of the store, paid for the stuff, and finally made it out to the car, where I had the emergency pull-ups and wipes. But of course, even though there were about 20 stores in the vicinity and even a couple of gas stations, NONE of them had public restrooms. So we all enjoyed a less than pleasant 30-minute ride home, where I finally got Stinky cleaned up and demanded that they both just go outside and play!

Summer vacation is how long, again?

Hawaii is awesome.

2011-05-31T15:40:00.001-10:00

I was looking back over my posts and realized that the last beach pictures I posted were these ones. It's high time I posted some more!

I've never been much of a beach goer, but I think Hawaii is changing my mind. This is our new favorite beach--the Ko'olina resort lagoons. They are manmade, so some people probably see them as an atrocity, but they are hands-down the best beach to take little kids to. The waves are almost nonexistent and the water never gets too deep, the sand is lovely, and you can see lots of fish and crabs along the rocks.

55 in 52: 7 weeks, ...and not focusing on the numbers. :)

2011-05-31T14:45:00.001-10:00

Starting weight: 185
Goal weight: 130
Current weight: 177?

So I'm a little late on my weigh-in here. Last week wasn't the best week. It started out great and on Tuesday or Wednesday I hit 175 (10 lbs!), but then the next day I was somehow about 4 pounds heavier. I'm just chalking up to the joys of being female and trying not to worry about the scale too much. Although I have to admit, it's hard not to let the scale discourage me when it's wigging out for no apparent reason. Anyway, the last half of the week I guess I was just tired because I really had a hard time making myself exercise, and I may have eaten more than my fair share of the cookies and doughnuts that had the misfortune of ending up at my house. Oops.

But things are looking up a little this week. I got in a much better workout this morning and the exercise always makes the nutrition so much easier. I've been taking to heart your great suggestions, by the way. Last week I really did run laps around the playground while Forrest played. (Unfortunately, that workout was cut short by an unfortunate poop incident...I swear, it's like they plan these things...) And I bought the Biggest Loser Cardio Max dvd, which pretty much makes me want to die whenever I do it. I have the others waiting in my netflix queue. Hoping to get back to the gym next week when Clara's at day camp, as long as I can get Forrest in gym care before it fills up!

So, all in all, not the greatest week, but not the worst. Still optimistic.

55 in 52: 6 weeks, 8 pounds

2011-05-21T16:51:00.001-10:00

Starting weight:185
Goal weight: 130
Today's weight: 177

This was a pretty good week, I lost a couple of pounds despite the fact that I couldn't make it to the gym again all week. I'm probably not going to be able to go to the gym regularly again until the fall when Clara will be back in school and hopefully Forrest will have made it through the preschool waiting list. But so far I am making do at home with the few workout videos available for streaming on Netflix. There's not a great selection, but there are a few that are ok. I miss doing the Step classes, though.

A friend of mine told me this week that she could already really tell that I'd lost some weight, that was incredibly motivating! :D It's amazing how much more confident I am already starting to feel, too.

So does anyone have any suggestions for ways to get in workouts with kids in tow? I tried taking Forrest with me to the track a couple of times, and even brought his bike once thinking he would like riding along next to me, but he just doesn't have the patience (or stamina) for it. It might work if I take Clara too so they can play together while I run. Running isn't my favorite, but at least it's a way to get out of the house. Doing workout videos with the kids running around and whining at me to get them stuff is trying at best. I might just have to start getting up early so I can get it done before they wake up, but that's probably going to mean 5:30 since Forrest gets up at 6:30 most days, and sometimes earlier. I just don't know if I've got that kind of discipline. I'd love to do some bike rides with Forrest in the trailer, but I really need to get my bike fixed up before that can happen.

I suppose there's always a challenge to overcome when it comes to this stuff. If I didn't have kids, it'd be a job I was trying to work around. If it was easy we'd all be thin already, right? But if anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears. :)

55 in 52: 5 weeks, 6 pounds

2011-05-14T20:58:00.000-10:00

Well, I guess I embarrassed myself enough with my last post that I might as well dispense with the rest of my dignity and blog about my weight, too!

Actually, I've just been thinking that I need to add some accountability to my weight loss plan, so I'm going to start doing weekly weigh-ins here. You guys can be my own personal weight watchers group. Except I won't make you tell me how much you weigh every week. Hopefully this will give me an extra little bit of motivation, knowing that I'll have to publicly fess up at the end of each week if I blow it.

So the big goal here is to get down to my ideal weight by the end of the deployment. So that gives me a total of 52 weeks (uh, give or take several) to lose 55 pounds. So I just need to lose about a pound a week to stay on track and be the hottest Tim has ever seen me when he gets home!

Things have been going pretty well so far. I can get free child care for Forrest when I go to the gym (not sure yet what I'll do once Clara's out of school--she's too old for gym care, but I'll figure something out), so I've been going 3-4 times a week since Tim left. I've discovered that I really enjoy doing the classes, Step is my favorite. I was actually really bummed that I had to skip the gym this week with the kids being sick. I really look forward to "my" classes (now that I'm not tripping over the step as much). Anyway, I've also been tracking my calories online and I am already seeing noticeable (well, to me anyway) results.

So here are the stats:
Starting weight (yes, I am actually publishing this for the whole entire world to see): 185
Goal weight: 130
Today's weight: 179
Lost so far: 6 lbs. :)

I was hoping for a more dramatic drop initially, but I'm right on track so far so I won't complain. Just gotta keep it up!

Feel free to keep tabs on my progress, offer advice and encouragement (please!), get on my case if I skip a weigh-in, JOIN ME, or just ignore these posts if they're too boring.

55 in 52! Hooah!

11 To Go -or- Things Fall Apart

2011-05-13T08:19:00.000-10:00

Yesterday marked one month since Tim left.

Today was so bad I punched a hole in the wall.

You might think I'm kidding, but I'm not.

When your spouse is deployed you get asked how you're doing a lot. And the answer for me so far has always been “fine.” And I haven't been lying or trying to look strong or any of that nonsense. I really have been fine. I wasn't necessarily enjoying myself, but I was coping. I wasn't too terribly sad, and sure I was a little stressed, but I was dealing with it. I was fine and then fine and then fine and then all of a sudden I was so not fine.

The kids have been sick this week, so it had been kind of an off week from the start. Then this morning Clara starts complaining about having this intense itching and pain in her feet. I notice some dark, splotchy-looking spots under the skin and think, “hmm, that's weird.” I call Nurse Mom, who is not yet home for her lunch break. Soon Clara's complaining turns to crying and screaming and accusations of not being loved because I am cleaning Forrest's poop off the floor (we're potty training) instead of fluttering over her and somehow magically removing her discomfort. I notice similar spots on Forrest's feet and start to become concerned. Nurse Mom calls back and tells me to call the doctor. Clara's little melodrama escalates and I move her to her bedroom so that I think and hear. I call the clinic, but have to wait for the Triage Nurse to call me back, although the receptionist mentions something about Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease “going around” in Hawaii.

I go to the computer to research HFMD and am quickly convinced that that's what we're dealing with. Luckily, it's a miserable but minor viral infection. Clara continues to scream. (During all of this, I have tried to be as sympathetic and understanding as possible, but my patience is beginning to wear thin.) Unflinchingly cheerful, Forrest comes to me wanting to play, pretending to be something fierce and scary, and decides to see what will happen if he bites me as hard as he possibly can in the back of the arm (I've got the bruise to prove it). I scream in pain for the few seconds it takes him to release my skin, then he starts to howl from the shock of realizing what his action caused. I am completely flustered, trying to figure out how to deal with this. Somehow Clara hears the commotion downstairs over the top of her own ruckus, and immediately starts screaming because I'm not telling her what Forrest did. I sort of halfway calm Forrest down and get halfway up the stairs to deal with her before the screaming finally gets to me and I lose it. All of a sudden I am totally out of control, screaming and pounding the wall so hard that after the third time I hit it I am shocked to see a big, black hole staring back at me.

Then I pretty much fall apart. I call my mom back, crying so hard I can barely talk. The Triage Nurse calls while I'm on the phone with her and I somehow manage to sound normal while she assesses the situation, agrees that it's probably HFMD, warns me that it will probably get worse before it gets better (I can't help but find some humor in that prognosis), and makes an appointment for us to see the doctor tomorrow.

Things weren't quite so bad after that. For some unknown reason Clara decided to calm things down to just a whiney pout for the rest of the day, with an occasional crying jag thrown in for flavor. We all just watched a lot of TV until bed.

Why am I putting this on my blog? I'm not really sure. It's not exactly the most flattering of tales. In fact, it's incredibly embarrassing to display my anger issues and lack of household (and self-) control for all to see like this. A cry for help? Maybe. Although I have traditionally had no problem asking for help once I realize I need it. And I think I just realized I need it. And once we are no longer quarantined I will seek it out.

I think I just needed to tell this story to try to break through the isolation a little bit. I need to throw this out there and let it belong to someone other than just me. I have wanted to write so badly this month, but really haven't known what to say. Today there was something to say. It wasn't something pretty, but it was something, and it feels good to write it down.

One month down, eleven to go. Deep breaths.

Next week if you ask me how I'm doing, I'll probably say fine. And I won't be lying, I promise. Fine is a pretty relative word, you know.

*This post was actually written yesterday, but blogger was having issues so I couldn't post it. Just trying to be accurate here.

Sending stuff "downrange"

2011-05-04T21:09:00.000-10:00

I've had a few people ask what kinds of stuff they should send to Tim or to his unit in care packages. I haven't been able to come up with much on my own, but I came across this (very long) list of dos, don'ts, and suggestions on the brigade's facebook page so I thought I'd repost it here for those who might want ideas. As far as stuff that is personal to Tim, he has so little personal time (usually only about an hour a day) that it's been hard for me to come up with ideas. Treats, of course, are always good. He said they had some guitars there, so maybe some guitar music? Of course, letters, pictures, books (although he's got a pretty heavily loaded kindle with him), and that kind of thing. And honestly, I think when you're sending stuff to troops it really actually is the thought that counts. Just the fact that someone remembers them and takes the time to let them know, in whatever way, is huge. If anyone needs Tim's address, let me know and I'll email it to you.

~What NOT to send

Alcohol and alcohol-production products
Fruits, live plants, and animals
Pork and pork by-products
Pornographic and sexual materials (including nudes and semi-nudes)
Obscene materials
Non-authorized political materials
Religious materials contrary to Islam in bulk quantities
Firearms and ammunition
Cash, coins, securities or precious metals in their raw state
Hazardous, flammable, toxic and radioactive substances

~What you may send with CAUTION

Use common sense and realize that packages can be subjected to high heat and bouncing around. Use Ziploc bags and lots of padding where applicable:

Batteries in summer
Aerosols and other pressurized products
Liquids in glass containers
Perishable food products that can spoil
Electronic devices with batteries installed

~What you can send

Cookies, candies, snack foods and beverages
Toiletries & personal hygiene products
Small electrical appliances
Personal electronic products and batteries
CDs, DVDs, magazines, books
Sheets and pillow cases

~Most requested items

Sheets and pillow cases
T-Shirts (army Tan or green)
Small Flashlights
Socks: Black, Olive Green & White (cotton and/or wool)
Patriotic knick knacks: USA flags, flags from your state, bandanas, baseball hats, football jerseys, banners.
Generic sunglasses
Alarm Clocks (Small in size; wind up or battery operated)
Black or Green duct tape, small tool kits, dust masks, carpentry tools, Fly swatters, fly paper, mosquito netting, bug
repellant in plastic pump bottles only (NO AEROSOL CANS, PLEASE!)
Religious booklets, small bibles, inspirational readings (not in bulk)
Small toys & school supplies for Iraqi & Afghani children
Small portable heaters & fans (110 voltage okay)
Coffee Makers (110 voltage okay) & coffee filters!
Microwave Ovens (55 lbs max; 110 voltage okay)
Small hot pots
Winter Hats & Blankets (Yes, it snows in the winter over there!)
Combat Application Tourniquets (black only)
Holiday Decorations
Batteries: “AA” "AAA" and “C” are the most requested
DVD Movies (recent releases)
Xbox Games (new or used)
Portable CD players / head phones
Small homemade gifts, little comforts of "home"
Pens & mechanical pencils
Stationery & Envelopes; blank cards to send home
Double sided tape
Day planners / Small, Pocket Calendars
Crossword Puzzles / Word Search Books / Math Puzzle books / MAD LIBS / Logic Problems / Sudoku YoYo's, Dominoes, playing cards, poker chips, dice, Board games (UNO, Othello, checkers travel size is great, too!)
Nerf footballs / Whiffle balls / Mitts / Sports equipment
Frisbees / Hackey sacks
Electronic handheld games
35 mm disposable cameras
Deodorant (travel size)
Razors (disposable: "Intuition" or "Mach 3" type)
Shaving Cream / Shaving Soap (in boxes or tubes; NO CANS of Shaving Cream, please!)
Cotton Swabs (i.e. Q tips)
Band aids, Gauze Pads, First Aid Kits
Lip balm / Chap Stick
Baby Powder & Foot Powder (travel size)
Loufa Sponges / Buff Puffs / Washcloths
Tissues (individual packs; travel size only)
Sunblock, SPF 45, Zinc, Vitamin E, Aloe Vera Gel
Bug Spray / DEET
Hand & Body Lotion / Moisturizer (travel size)
Mouthwash (travel size)
Toothpaste & Toothbrushes & Dental Floss
VITAMINS (multi vitamins are always needed!)
Breath Mints / Breath Strips
Lozenges / Cough Drops
Nail files / Emery Boards / Nail Clippers
Feminine Hygiene Products
Cotton Balls
Tylenol, Motrin, Advil or Aspirin Packets
Moleskin
Shoe Insole Cushions (gel kind is best)
Baby wipes (travel size)
Liquid Hand Sanitizer travel size)
Body Wash
Liquid Soap, Facial Cleanser
Shampoo /Conditioner (travel size)
Hair Gel (for female troops to pull hair back)
Combs / Brushes, Bobby Pins
Eye Drops (i.e. Visine)
Nasal Spray
Beef Jerky
Slim Jims
COFFEE (Ground or whole; instant or drip), Hot Chocolate packets, Herbal teas
Instant Drink Mixes (Gatorade, Kool, Aid, Crystal Light)
Pumpkin Seeds (salted)
Tuna in foil pouches (no cans)
Protein Powders / Protein Bars / Cliff Bars

*NO CHOCOLATE PRODUCTS from MARCH to OCTOBER (it will melt in high temperatures!)

Hard Pretzels / Cheetos / Fritos / Chex Mix / Wheat Thins
Gum and Hard Candy (must be individually wrapped)
Granola Bars / Power Bars / Cereal Bars
Small Packs of Fig Newtons, Oreos, Cheese Its
Trail Mix, Dried Fruit, Granola, Fruit RollUps / Fruit By The Foot / Fruit Gummies
DRY SOUP: (Ramen Noodles / Cup O Soup: just add water)
NUTS: Peanuts, Mixed Nuts (salted)
MICROWAVE FOOD (Popcorn, Chef Boy R Dee, Mac'n'Cheese...)
COOKIES / Girl Scout Cookies (with chocolate: Oct-Feb. only!)
Cheese & Cracker packs
Condiments, Spices; Sugar; Salad Dressing (no glass jars)
Oatmeal Packs (Instant: just add water)
Cereal (Small, individual boxes)
Rice Krispie Treats (Store bought only)
Caffeinated gum or candy (to stay alert)

~Ideas

When you send the sheets/towels/t-shirts, etc...wash and dry them and then put them in a big ziplock with your families brand of dryer sheet...when the soldier opens the bag they will smell the familiar smell of home.
WRITE letters. It's nice to have something to hold, smell, keep close...spray your perfume on the letter
take pictures, print them and send them
buy and send the recordable cards and books (have mom or dad deployed do the same for the kids...buy the recordable books and send them downrange for your soldier to record their voice and then have them send them back and you and the children and read the book to soldier's voice)
get a flip video and record everything, email the video or put it on a CD and send it
if you can skype, have family meetings, eat dinner together...serve the table and put soldier at the table with you, of course the will be on the computer (skype) but everyone will be at the dinner table
send a holiday basket or special treat for EVERY holiday, flag day, valentines day, easter, halloween...all of them
for Christmas send a very small tree with all the fixins! to include the skirt, lights, presents, a filled stocking
teacher, sunday school teacher, etc...have your class send letters to sections

***Please remember we have some soldiers over there that are not as fortunate as to have someone send them things...if your soldier has a soldier like that in their section mail a small care package to them too...mail it to them, not your soldier...knowing that some cares may be just what they need that day...they will always remember that...

Tim just received the first package I sent him, I think it took about a week and a half to get there. They say to allow for two weeks, so keep that in mind if you're sending homemade goodies or something like that.

I also want to apologize that I've been, well, beyond vague here on the blog about what's going on with our Timmy. The Army's a little bit paranoid (with good reason) about what gets posted on the web, so even though I really want to post about stuff I'm always worried about being too specific, and I'd really rather err on the side of caution. I've been thinking about making this blog private, or maybe starting a new one just for the deployment that's private, so I don't have to worry as much about that stuff. But I also don't want to annoy everyone with making them log in and all that. I'll let you know if I ever decide anything. Or I'll just keep being quiet and mysterious.

2011-04-11T22:05:00.001-10:00

Kolekole Pass

2011-01-21T22:29:00.000-10:00

A couple of days ago I took the kids to check out a hiking spot just up the road that I'd heard about. Since I didn't really know where we were going, we almost turned back before we got to the viewpoint, but luckily we bumped into another hiker who told us where to go. I'm so glad we did because it was really impressive. We were right up next to these amazing mountains and could see all the way down the west side of the island out to the ocean. You should come visit us so I can take you there.

Unfortunately, this was the best picture I could get of the view. Sorry, I was kind of busy trying to keep my children from falling hundreds of feet to their deaths.

I think I love how this picture came out all overexposed in the front. Clara's looking through her binoculars that she got in her "nature backpack" for Christmas. It was pretty much one of my best ideas ever. I filled a backpack with all kinds of stuff for observing and learning about nature--little books and guides, magnifying glass, specimen jar, safari vest, compass, etc. She really loves it. She plays with it outside with her friends fairly often and always wants to take it on any outings we go on. It was such a fun gift to put together, so much more fun than picking out some cheap plastic toy. I wish I came up with gifts like that more often. I was inspired by something similar that we checked out from the library in Washington.

Forrest enjoyed his snack more than anything else.

Studiously recording observations in her Field Journal.


This sign was, oh, about 20 feet to our left. And just so you know how truly irresponsible I am, I also drove past a "Road Closed" sign to get to the trailhead and passed several "Dangerous Trails, Do Not Proceed" signs as we started up the trail. But since we saw at least 10 other people (including some kids) up there, at least I'm not the only one encouraging my children to indulge in reckless behavior.

There is this weird rock up there that, according to legend, may have been used by the native Hawaiians for some kind of ceremonial beheadings. See that little rounded ledge on the left side there? Just about the right size for resting a head on? Oooooo, kind of creepy, right?

"Hey kids! Go stand by the creepy beheading rock, I want to get a picture! Aw, precious."

The Tale of the Resurrected Fish

2011-01-16T23:11:00.002-10:00

THE VICTIMS:

A little blurry, but otherwise fully recovered. We think.
(By the way, do you know how hard it is to take a decent picture of a fish tank?)

THE PERPETRATOR:

(The above photo is a staged recreation of actual events. No fish were harmed in the making of this blog post.)

Lately Forrest has developed a sneaky streak. He has learned enough to know when he is being naughty, and to know that if he is quietly naughty he stands a greater chance of being able to carry his naughtiness through to its natural ends, instead of being thwarted sometime before the really satisfying part. This new knowledge has mostly manifested itself in mildly annoying/amusing behavior, such as the mysterious appearance of huge sections of peeled-off wall paint (which, to be fair, is a really, really hard temptation to resist in this house) or the mysterious disappearance and relocation of tantalizing forbidden items. Mom probably hasn't done enough to discourage this behavior, since she generally takes way too long to investigate the long stretches of unsettling, if welcome, silence. Well, a couple of weeks ago Forrest decided to take his juvenile delinquency to another level and committed an act which led to a drama of life and death proportions.

I have no idea what his perpetually distracted mother was doing at the time, but at some point shortly after his nap on the day in question Forrest decided that the fish needed feeding. Apparently he thinks that Mom has been unnecessarily cruel in only feeding the fish one teeny little pinch every day and decided to compensate for the weeks of near starvation they'd been subjected to by feeding them THE WHOLE BOTTLE. So into the tank went what must have been a marvelously beautiful blizzard of colorful flakes. I'm sure the fish must have been pinching themselves at their good fortune (metaphorically, of course), and Forrest no doubt enjoyed a wonderful show for a few minutes before going on his merry way.

Fast forward a couple of hours. Mom enters the living room and sees the fish tank that she has so fastidiously cared for and monitored, testing and changing the water sometimes daily to ensure the proper balance of blah blah blah..., now a thick, murky mess, resembling whatever a dirty orange equivalent of pea soup might be. Exclaiming, "what the...??!?!" she rushes to her formerly healthy and happy little fish family and sees them all swimming strangely and sluggishly through the muck. Once her astonishment subsides, she grabs her trusty bucket and gravel vac and sucks out about half the water, along with as much as she can get of the thick layer of plush fish-flake carpet that is now completely covering the sand at the bottom of the tank. She then refills the tank with fresh water, hoping that the 50% water change was enough, and that she caught the problem early enough to avoid any truly dire consequences. But apparently she didn't.

Fast forward again, to just after Forrest's bedtime now, when Mom and Dad notice that the tank situation has definitely NOT improved. The fish are all now gulping for air at the surface of the water, and beginning to act very strangely indeed. One fish in particular is frantically gulping, swimming erratically, and begins jerking about in the water. Mom proclaims, "Oh my gosh, he's dying!" and dashes to the sink with the bucket to prepare more fresh water in a last ditch effort to save the precious thing. Clara erupts in panicked hysterics, convinced she is witnessing the death of her beloved pet (all the more beloved because Mom vehemently refuses to let her get a "real" one). With the bucket about half full, Dad calls out from the living room, "You'd better hurry!" just before he and Clara witness the death throes of little Sparky (ok, ok, he doesn't actually have a name. Going for dramatic effect here.), who literally goes belly-up before listing to one side and floating sadly to the bottom of his murky home. Mom is truly astonished when Dad runs in with the lifeless fish in his hands and plops him into the still-filling bucket and begins swishing him quickly forward and backward in the water. Convinced her husband has lost his mind, she protests, feeling like the swishing is somehow a desecration of the body or an insult to his memory or something like that. The fish continues to show no signs of life and Dad gives up, freeing Sparky to sink to the bottom once again. A few sad seconds pass as Mom and Dad wonder how to tell their still distressed daughter what has transpired. But as Mom gazes at Sparky as she turns off the water she notices something. Can it be? Yes, it is! There is movement, slight but definite movement in Sparky's gills! Dad plunges his hand back in and vigorously resumes swishing. After several swishes, Sparky jerks out of Dad's hand and begins swimming around the bucket! Mom's jaw drops and she slowly turns her head to gaze in awe at her husband. Has she just witnessed a miracle wrought by the hand of her very own spouse? Dad modestly explains that he "just sort of remembered something" from fishing with his Grandpa Nielson as a kid, something that happened to be able to bring fish BACK FROM THE DEAD, for Pete's sake!

Once the shock subsides and Clara is comforted, the rest of the fish are scooped from their misery to spend the rest of the evening huddled together in the bucket (which has now been outfitted with filter and heater). Mom gets to spend the rest of the evening completely emptying and refilling the tank, sucking out flakes upon flakes upon flakes. Just before bed, the fish are returned to their now (pretty much) clean tank and Mom and Dad cross their fingers as they turn out the lights that, after all that, they won't awake to a tank full of dead fish in the morning.

Well, happily, we didn't. All of the fish seem to have fully recovered from their little brush with death. As have the humans. And, if nothing else, we've at least learned to keep the fish food on a higher shelf.

Halloween

2010-10-31T19:04:00.006-10:00

I'm exhausted. Halloween was way too much work this year. And the kids were only willing to cooperate for a grand total of three pictures, so here they are.

Forrest really wanted to be Plex from Yo Gabba Gabba (also known as The Weirdest Show on Television). In case any of you aren't familiar with the show, here's the real Plex:

I was pretty happy with how it turned out. Everybody loved it, and Forrest actually wore the whole thing for a lot of trick-or-treating (although he did take the head off toward the end). But never again. Someone please remind me next year, when I start making plans for some crazy costume construction, of the week and a half I spent being held hostage by my sewing machine and glue gun, and of the hot glue burns and the nausea from the contact cement and the difficulty of attaching anything to foam or vinyl, etc., etc. For Pete's sake, I don't really even like Halloween!

Clara wanted to be a vampire this year, and even though she would have been perfectly happy with the crappy $10 Walmart costume, I just couldn't do it. It's a matter of principle. So I made hers, too. The pictures didn't turn out that great, but the cape is really cool.

I made the mistake of using that spray-on hair color and boy was that fun to wash out last night. I think our tub and shower might be permanently stained. Fabulous.

All right, I know I'm totally being a grump about this. Especially since it's my own fault. It's not like anyone forced me to make the costumes. Or procrastinate starting them until a week and a half before Halloween. The kids had fun (in spite of the fact that Clara spent the whole night terrified of people's dogs), and got enough candy to get good and sick. So it was worth it. I guess. Maybe.

I'm gonna go take a nap.

This pretty much sums it up.

2010-10-12T09:12:00.003-10:00

We saw this sign recently (at the zoo), and Tim immediately declared that it needed to be posted in his company area:

So if you've ever wondered what it's like to be in the army, well, there you go.

Would I be crazy...

2010-09-12T21:12:00.003-10:00

...to try to turn this...

(try to ignore the furniture, no we do not actually own that!)

...into this?

This one's for Charlene.

2010-09-11T13:36:00.003-10:00

This one's for Angie.

2010-09-11T13:18:00.002-10:00

Home Sweet Home

2010-09-02T13:17:00.007-10:00

See folks? I wasn't kidding. It's ugly.
The unbelievably blue sky and the palm tree help a little, though.

*This was written on Monday, August 30.

Tim is gone for 3 days, off shooting guns and stuff with his unit, which sounds like it might be fun, but probably isn’t really when they only let you have 2 or 3 hours of sleep at night. I have nothing to do, since our household goods aren’t here yet and I’m stranded home without a car, at least for today. Perfect opportunity to blog, except for the lack of internet connection, but I guess I’ll just write and post it whenever the internet fairy decides to come visit.

We moved into our house on Wednesday and immediately launched a no-holds-barred attack against the squatters. Or natives, however you choose to look at it. (I’m talking about the bugs.) They are putting up a good fight, but I think I’m starting to get the upper hand. We are also enjoying the lovely loaner furniture, bubbling paint job, sounds of artillery fire, lack of air conditioning, and the neighbors’ drunken karaoke parties (ok, just one of those, but I was this close to calling the MPs last night!). Our neighborhood really is pretty ghetto, it was getting me pretty down last night. Poor Tim had to listen to me blubbering away when he really needed to be sleeping. But today is a lovely sunny day with a fresh cool breeze and the neighborhood is quiet (hangovers are a beautiful thing), so I’m feeling a bit more hopeful.

Even though I have had some less-than-thrilled moments about the living situation, when I stop and think about it I really do think the positives outweigh the negatives of living here. So as an exercise in looking on the bright side, here is a list of things that make me happy about this house (besides the extra money, which certainly makes me happy as well):

Big coconut tree in the front
Huge, shady ficus (?) tree in the back with big awesome roots sprawling out around it
Figuring out the perfect layout for the living room
Figuring out the perfect way to block out the view of the karaoke neighbors from the back patio
Big white egrets (or something) roaming the neighborhood
A cute little black bunny roaming the neighborhood
Extra space!
The opportunity to make oodles and oodles of window treatments
The opportunity and space to grow actual plants, and having a Master Gardener mother to help me get a clue about doing it!
Friendly next-door neighbors and down-the-street neighbors
A quiet cul-de-sac where Clara can finally learn to ride her bike
Agreeing with my husband on choices of furniture and rugs
Children who have fairly painlessly adapted to the new “no eating outside the kitchen” and “no shoes inside the house” rules. I think my life may have just gotten a little easier.
This:

So it’s not so bad. I have so many big plans for the house and yard. I’m probably a little crazy to try to actually do them all since we’ll most likely only be living here for 3 years-ish at the most. But I’ve waited seven years to have a house I could put my heart into, and I feel like I just need to go nuts with it. My neighbors may shake their heads and laugh when they see me putting in bushes and watering the dead, patchy grass, but I don’t care. It will be good for my soul.

Now the big question is: To paint or not to paint? I’ve never painted before and I’m afraid of how much work it would be (we’d have to paint over it before we move out, too), but the thought of having something other than white walls just makes me feel happy inside. But how in the world would I ever choose what color?

2010-08-19T12:44:00.005-10:00

I was waiting to write this post until I got some amazing pictures of Hawaii awesomeness, but we've been here for over 2 weeks and I still haven't taken any and I thought I should at least let everyone know that we made it and we're still alive. Our travels went remarkably well, the kids were total champs on the plane. I was kind of in shock at how good they were. We've been staying at the hotel here on base, which was much nicer than I expected it to be, and after a fair bit of drama over housing we finally got a house and we'll be moving in this week! Here are a few pics of the hotel, just in case anyone doubts that we really are in Hawaii:

Just for fun, here are some cute pics of the kids before we left Georgia, sporting their kids meal toys (oh, how tired I am of kids meals and fast food!) on our trip to the Georgia Aquarium (which, by the way, is absolutely amazing):

And one of the kids getting nice and dirty in the kind of cool but kind of evil red dirt that covers this whole area. I don't know why it's red, but it sure does get all over everything!

Hawaii really is as amazing as people say. I am constantly pinching myself, it's so hard to believe that we really live here. My two favorite things about Hawaii so far are the amazing trees and the smell of plumeria. I couldn't believe how good it always seemed to smell when we first got here! There is so much to love about this place.

Tim is getting settled into his unit here, so far everyone has been really nice and helpful, it's SO different than BCT/AIT! He still doesn't really know what he's going to be doing everyday, but at least the environment is a little more supportive and flexible. It looks like they'll be deploying next year, but we are grateful to get to have some time together to establish our new home before he leaves. That's more than a lot of people get.

Our new ward at church seems really great. And yes, they really do say "Aloha" from the stand, but it's generally pretty restrained. ;) The members have been so friendly and welcoming. We were invited over to people's houses for both lunch and dinner today, and both meals were big, multi-family affairs. It was really great to meet so many people, there was lots of laughter and boisterous conversation. It was wonderful to be so warmly embraced by the ward so quickly. There are several church members that live very close to where we will be living, so that will be great.

I'll spare you the story of our housing drama and just tell you that after a lot of stress and a few surprises, we ended up in a house that I think we will be happy in. It doesn't look like much from the outside, but I've got big plans and can't wait to get started making improvements. In the beginning we assumed we'd end up in the new housing here on base, but we ended up taking one of the oldest houses (they actually give you money back from your housing allowance to live there!) . I have to admit it took a bit of pride swallowing on my part, but I think I'm actually really glad it ended up this way. I'll have a lot more freedom to make the house my own (they are very restrictive with what you can do to the new housing) and a lot more money to do it with! Now I just can't wait to get moved in and for our stuff to get here!

To say that the kids are loving Hawaii would be a gross understatement. We've only been to the beach twice so far, but the beach is pretty much their idea of heaven (and mine too!), even though Forrest is pretty much terrified of the waves. Hopefully he'll get over that. It's just so awesome that they will be able to play outside EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE YEAR! Clara started school last week and is liking it so far. She'll have to change schools when we move to the new house, though. The poor kid will have gone to 5 different schools and she's only in 1st grade! I'm sure it will do her much good to be able to settle into a school and know that she'll be able to stay there for a while.

Well, that's all I can think of for now. Now that we're starting to get settled, I really will try to update more often, and do some real blogging again instead of just travelogue posts. That is, if I have time between the surfing lessons and the luaus.

Would this pass for a lush tropical forest?

2010-07-08T13:40:00.005-10:00

I am very impatient to get to Hawaii. Well, part of it's getting to Hawaii and part of it's getting out of this freakishly, hellishly hot place known as Georgia. When we were waiting for Tim's orders we thought we were going to have to do our whole move in the space of a week and a half, then when we got them the army had given us more than six weeks. Which is great, and I'm not complaining, but we really don't have that much to do to get ready so we're just kind of sitting around twiddling our sweaty thumbs and dreaming of white sandy beaches and snow-capped volcanoes. So I needed a project, and today I finished the little centerpiece above. Isn't it lovely? I was first inspired by this blog to make the pebble mat, then today at the Commissary I scooped up some cheap plants (I have no idea what they are), brought them home and plopped them in a pot I had from the Mother's Day Bonsai that I got a couple of years ago (and killed through negligence). The whole thing only cost me $9! $2 for the pebbles, $1 for the bamboo placemat they're glued to, and $6 for the plants. And now I have my own little piece of tropical paradise to get me through the next month. :)

With honors

2010-06-09T15:27:00.008-10:00

It's that time of year, I guess. Seems like everybody's graduating from something lately. Clara had her kindergarten graduation a couple of weeks ago. The program was so sweet (even if it was too long) and I'm not ashamed to admit that I totally cried when all the Kindergarteners sang "The World's Greatest," cheesy as that may be. Clara won the Principal's Award, which means that she was one of the top two students (based on report cards) in her class! Now, you may think that doesn't mean much when you're only in Kindergarten, but let me tell you, there is a whole lot more expected from Kindergarteners now than when I was one! She put in a lot of hard work this year and I am incredibly proud of her!

Timmy's graduation was a little more bittersweet, especially when I realized that it was almost two years to the day from another, very different graduation. But it was a happy day, and I was so proud of him. Apparently placing at the top of the class is a new family tradition, because he was named the "Distinguished Graduate" (which means he was the highest scoring member of his class). He's being much more humble about it than I am. :) Maybe I'm a little bit biased, but whenever I see him with the other soldiers it just seems so obvious that he is head and shoulders above the rest (figuratively, even more than literally).

(I promise to update y'all on the move when I have something to tell you. We're still kickin' it here in GA, waiting on the army to give Tim his official orders. They're supposed to come next week, and then we'll be able to get the ball rolling!)

Aloooooooha!

2010-05-14T08:44:00.004-10:00

One of Tim's more humorous pet peeves is when people say "Aloha" from the stand in church. If you're LDS there's a good chance you know what I'm talking about, but for those who are not, I'll explain. Apparently in Hawaii it is the general practice for those who are speaking in church to begin with an "Aloha" to the congregation, which the congregation then echoes back. Well, every now and then this little tradition will pop up on the mainland, usually as the result of someone having spent some time in "the islands" and being so charmed by it that they feel like they need to share the joy with everyone else. Invariably, the congregation's first half-hearted "Aloha" is just not good enough and is met with a "You can do better than that, let's try again--ALOOOOOHA!". If you know my husband at all, I'm sure you can just imagine the eye-rolling that ensues.

For a while now we have been anxiously and impatiently awaiting our assignment to our first duty station (more and more impatiently the closer we get to graduation--we're at less than three weeks now!). The other day I discovered a certain update on a certain website that meant that we had been assigned, but didn't say what the assignment actually was. I was expecting to have to wait another week until the system updated again to find out, but that night Tim called with the news. He beat around the bush for a few minutes just to make me squirm, but I could tell from the smile in his voice that this was something big. Finally I blurted out, "So what is it?!!?!" and he said, "Well, unfortunately... it looks like we're going to have to get used to hearing 'Aloha' every week in church."

6th Birthday

2010-05-14T07:07:00.010-10:00

Clara turned six last Friday. She wanted to have a Hello Kitty themed party, so on Saturday we had a few of our new friends come over for face painting, cake, and pinata smashing. A good time was had by all. Which is saying a lot considering that we're talking about Kindergarteners.

I practiced lots of awesome face painting designs earlier in the week (hey, it beats folding laundry):

but in the end almost everybody just wanted a Hello Kitty face:

including Forrest:

(Here he is sneaking in a whack at the pinata when it wasn't his turn.)

I didn't get quite as out of control this year as I did with the princess party, but I did have a lot of fun making the pinata, and would have had a lot of fun with the cake if I hadn't still been working on it 10 minutes before the party started (preparation, schmeparation).

I really love making a fuss over birthdays. Nothing beats the smile on the face of a kid who really feels like they're something special. And Clara deserves to feel that way with all that she's been through this last year or so. She's endured three moves, living in cramped spaces with too many people and none of her stuff, and months without her daddy. Enough to test the mettle* of any five year old. Sure, she's had her fed-up moments, but most of the time she's been amazingly patient and flexible and understanding. I am so grateful for that little girl.

*mettle |ˈmetl| n., a person's ability to cope well with difficulties or to face a demanding situation in a spirited and resilient way. (Yup, that's about the shape of it.)

2010-05-02T03:06:00.006-10:00

This blog has been on my mind a lot lately. I keep thinking I need to start writing regularly again, but I am always dissuaded from doing so because I feel like I have nothing to say. But having been recently informed that grandmas need pictures, I will at least attempt a little photographic repentance.

Yesterday we went to a big carnival here on post. The kids had a great time and the sun stayed behind the clouds most of the morning, so it was only mildly sweltering.

Forrest was a little daredevil. He wanted to go on all the rides, even the big scary ones. Clara, on the other hand, spent a good portion of the day making this face:

I know the San Antonians will appreciate Forrest sporting the Duncan jersey:

In some ways being here while Tim's still in school is very frustrating; the schedule is insane and the way the system functions is kind of ridiculous. But most of the time it honestly doesn't bother me that much, I'm just grateful that we get to be here and have moments like this:

*And just in case anyone is curious since I left you hanging after my last post, here is the outcome of our car dilemma:

The whole experience of selling the old car and buying the new one was every bit as stressful as I anticipated, but in the end we got a good deal on a great car (it's a Civic), so I guess I can't complain.

Advice, please.

2010-03-01T11:17:00.003-10:00

I realize that there probably aren't many of you out there even reading this blog anymore, but I have a dilemma and I thought that this might be a good place to hash out my options. I'll warn you up front that this is going to be boring, but I really need your help so please stay with me here!

Ok, so we're getting ready to move across the country to be with Tim again (YAY!). It's looking like this move will be happening in just a few weeks (fingers crossed). I think I've got most of the army stuff figured out (paperwork and all that), but one thing I am totally stuck on is what to do about our car.

Our car is old ('92 Toyota Camry). It has some minor issues. Like the bumper that is tied on (but very securely!) and the window that doesn't roll up and down like it's supposed to and the radio that just stopped working. The engine seems to still be going strong, but I don't think that a cross country trip in that car would be wise or worth it. The army will not pay to ship our car, but it will pay for plane tickets. So here are the options, or at least the ones I've been able to come up with:

1. Sell car here. Fly to our new home. Buy new (but not new) car upon arrival.

Pros: Probably the most convenient option. No cross-country drive. No travel expenses.

Cons: Incredibly stressful! I will have to buy a car, most likely totally on my own, pretty much immediately after we get there in a place that is completely unknown to me. I don't know if the army will pay for a rental car or anything when I get there, but I kind of doubt it, so I won't actually have any transportation to find the new car. We would also have to entrust our more expensive/precious belongings to the movers since I wouldn't have any way to transport them myself.

2. Sell car here. Buy new car here. Drive new car to new home.

Pros: The car buying would be less stressful, since I would have a little bit more time to do it and I at least know the area and could get a little help from my dad with finding one. I could take stuff with me that I don't trust the movers with.

Cons: The drive. 5 days with 2 little kids. In a car that I don't know very well. Also, registration issues--do I have to register it here, pay for that, then register it there and pay again? I don't have any idea.

3. Ship car on our own dime. Fly to new home.

Pros: No car selling or buying. (Just typing that makes me feel less stressed.)

Cons: Looks like shipping the car will cost about $1000. Which is more than the trade-in value of the car. And I've never shipped a car before so I don't really know anything about it. And even though $1000 is a whole lot less than we'll end up paying for a new car, it's kind of just postponing the inevitable.

Ok, friends. I know that was really boring. But if you've made it this far, please tell me what you think we should do. I'm just stuck. And if you have some other brilliant solution I haven't thought of, please, by all means, share!

Just because we can.

2010-01-23T12:54:00.010-10:00

My parents are out of town this weekend and it's been hard not to feel a bit lonely sitting around the house by ourselves. So this morning I decided we should go to the beach. January in Washington is perfect beach going weather, after all. It was about 45 degrees and the sky was that enchanting gray color the Pacific Northwest is so well-known for. I'm sure that you are all jealous that you don't have a lovely mossy-sanded beach like this a mere 10 minutes from your house. Strange that we were the only people there....

All sarcasm aside, I actually love this beach. I have many happy childhood memories and even a few happy adulthood memories involving it. It was just what I needed, being there with my sweet kids today.

(And when we got home there were four wonderful letters waiting for us. That was way better than any old beach.)

5 going on 15

2010-01-18T17:50:00.000-10:00

Prius got nothin' on this

2009-09-27T06:12:00.004-10:00

A couple of weeks ago we went to the Kelso Highlander Festival. The highlight of the day for me was this awesome car in the parade:

Forget your on-board navigation systems, this baby had its own on-board sprinkler system:

Do you think the oxygen being released by all that photosynthesis is enough to counteract that toxic cloud of exhaust? (oh, the irony...)

Scottish festivals are always fun. How can you not have fun at something that involves bagpipes? Unfortunately I didn't get many good pictures, though. The Kelso festival is pretty small-time, but it still had all the necessary elements: Pipes, dancing, kilts of all descriptions, men throwing very heavy things high into the air for no apparent reason, and vendors peddling merchandise of inferior quality and questionable authenticity. Seriously, what's not to love about that?

Is this wee laddie the cutest thing ever or what?

Could someone else in the family please get married in Scottish garb? Because we really need a good excuse to dress Forrest up in one of those.

And no Scottish festival would be complete without the few (or sometimes more than a few) oddball characters. Get a load of this guy:

Awesome.

Reasons We Miss Aunt Angie, #52

2009-09-27T06:05:00.002-10:00

She reads us the best books (regardless of our state of undress)!

Love you, Ang!

My only excuse is Farmtown.

2009-09-11T17:12:00.010-10:00

(it's a facebook game.)

Lately I've promised several of my loyal fans that I would update this poor neglected blog. Sorry it took me so long to make good on that. I think that trying to do a comprehensive recap of the last couple of months would probably prevent my being able to actually complete a post, so I'm pretty much just going to hit the points that have good pictures to go along with them.

I guess everybody who reads this blog probably already knows this, but since I haven't ever mentioned it here I probably should--Tim's joining the Army! Yes, it is crazy. Yes, I am scared. Yes, it was a hard decision. Yes, I think we made the right one. [He will be shipping out to boot camp in the middle of November and will be in training (basic and advanced) until next August.] Once that decision was finally made, we decided it was time to pack up and move to Washington. Texas was just too darn hot. So we said our sad goodbyes to the O's and hit the road.

(the one and only wagon wheel rest stop)

Actually, the reason we moved had nothing to do with the heat, although the heat was, quite frankly, ridiculous. We knew that when Tim left I'd be moving up here with the kids to be close to my parents and we figured it would be better to move in time for Clara to start....

KINDERGARTEN!

Isn't she cute? If you look close you can see the dandelion she picked for her teacher on the way to school. She's been enjoying school, although she hasn't been quite as enthusiastic as she was about her school in Boston. I think a lot of it had to do with how huge her class has been, but we just got a letter today saying they're splitting the classes and making another one, so hooray!

But I'm getting ahead of myself here. On the way up from Texas we stopped off for a week in Utah for the world-famous Taylor Grandma Camp! We had such a great time being all together and the kids were in heaven playing with their cousins and staying up late, going to waterparks and amusement parks and regular-old-park parks. It really was fantastic. And we got to meet the one and only Panzer, who just might be the most awesome dog ever:

Once we finally made it here (thanks to a lot of patience and driving help from the Curnutts and Grandma and Grandpa) we put all of our stuff where it seems to be most comfortable, in a storage unit, and settled into the extra rooms at Grandma and Grandpa T's house. We've been keeping pretty busy enjoying an awesome Pacific Northwest summer and our awesome Daddy while we still can. We've been doing a little of this:

And a lot of this:

And this, once (once was enough):

Pickin' some of these:

(heaven!)

And helping Grandma with this:

We finished August in style with a raucous party to celebrate the birth of our resident cars-and-trains-fanatic.

I started to feel like maybe the party was getting a little out of hand when the guest of honor launched into a rousing chorus of "Whiskey In The Jar"...

We sure do miss our Oliversons, but we're really loving being here too. I love being home. It's been a long time. The other day we drove out past the old house and it was amazing how little things had changed. I don't think I realized before how much I've missed the green and the cool and this funny old town (even with all of the "hillbillies", as Tim calls them). I really wouldn't complain if the Army sent us to Fort Lewis.

No great profundities to end this post. But if I left any questions unanswered please ask them. I'll try to get some videos up soon. But you know how it goes with me and "soon"....

They just don't make 'em like this anymore.

2009-07-02T07:30:00.004-10:00

I just read that Karl Malden passed away yesterday. Most of my generation probably only know him as the American Express guy (if they even know him at all) and that is truly a tragedy. He was one of this country's finest (if unsung) actors, and his performance in On The Waterfront moves me to tears no matter how many times I've seen it. I don't know much about his life, but just the fact that he and his wife celebrated their 70th (!) anniversary last year makes me suspect that the depth and humility of his performances must have come pretty naturally. He was part of a generation of actors that not many today can even approach and when I watch him I remember why I fell in love with acting in the first place.

Thank you, Mr. Malden.

(By the way, if you haven't seen this movie you need to repent now and get to a video store immediately.)

More Craftiness

2009-06-23T11:38:00.004-10:00

Before...

After...

Abigail's Sweater

2009-06-14T11:19:00.002-10:00

I just got a new niece, and she gets to have this lovely sweater. Lucky girl.

[In case anyone's wondering, the pattern is the (in)famous February Baby Sweater from Elizabeth Zimmerman's Knitting Almanac and the yarn is KnitPicks' CotLin in Kohlrabi.]

I hope this makes you as happy as it makes me.

2009-06-02T14:32:00.002-10:00

How to make something lovely

2009-05-27T14:42:00.013-10:00

About a million years ago, Corey gently requested that I blog more. I wasn't ignoring you, Corey, I promise! I've actually tried to post several times, but it's been hard to come up with anything that I really felt was worth saying. So to get over my writer's block, I've decided to pretend that this is a craft blog and post my first ever....(drumroll, please)......TUTORIAL!

Please try to control your excitement everyone.

In the last few months Clara has accumulated quite a little collection of Calico Critters (the cutest toys on the planet) and really needed somewhere to store them. Her birthday was a few weeks ago and while I was wandering around Hobby Lobby looking for presents I saw this little unfinished dresser and inspiration struck. I went back the next day and spent about an hour choosing my materials (and ignoring the curious/annoyed stares of the other customers as I spread them on the floor several times and arranged and rearranged them to make sure I got it just right). I worked on it for an hour or two every night for about a week and I couldn't be more pleased with the finished project. The whole thing cost about $30, but that could be reduced quite a bit depending on what you already have on hand.

So without further ado (since I know you can't wait to get started on your own), here is the tutorial:

LITTLE DECOUPAGE DRESSER

Supplies needed:

Small unfinished dresser or box

Mod Podge (you'll probably need the big bottle)

Craft paint

Foam brush and/or small paint brush

Scrapbooking or other decorative paper

Stickers, cutouts, or other desired embellishments

Spray fixative

First, remove hardware from drawers and thoroughly sand the entire box. Wipe down box with damp cloth to remove dust.

Paint any parts of the box that will not be covered with paper or embellishments. Since I covered nearly the whole box with paper I only painted the edges.

If you want to cover whole sides of the dresser and drawers like I did, measure all of the sides and cut your paper just slightly smaller (the paper might stretch a little when you are glueing it). I got kind of out of control and even lined the inside of the drawers, so measuring and cutting took me a long time!

Now comes the fun part! I tried a few different ways of doing the actual decoupage, and the method that I found to be the most effective at preventing air bubbles and tearing was also the simplest and least frustrating: Using a foam brush, apply a thin layer of mod podge (but not too thin--you'll want to be able to reposition the paper a little) to the box, covering entire desired area. Lay paper onto box, starting with one side and smoothing paper down toward the other side, readjusting as necessary. Smooth out any air bubbles with your fingers, a small roller, or a popsicle stick, and allow to dry (maybe 10-20 minutes).

I started with the inside of the drawers so I could get the hang of it before I moved on to the parts people would actually see.

After the area is dry, slap on a couple of coats of mod podge over the top of the paper, allowing each coat to dry before applying the next.

Here are the box and drawers after all of the covering was done:

(As you apply the paper to the drawers, poke through with a pointy object where the holes are for your hardware and clear out the mod podge as well as you can with each coat. Otherwise you'll probably have to re-drill the holes when you're finished.)

You're almost done! Now apply whatever embellishments you wish. Stick on the stickers, glue on the cutouts, and cover the whole thing with a few more coats of mod podge. Apply any 3 dimensional embellishments (like my rhinestones) last, and do not coat.

After the last coats of mod podge have been dry for at least 24 hours or so, spray with a fixative (I used Krylon Matte Finish) to seal it. This is important because even though it may not feel like it, the mod podge may still have a little tackiness to it and could stick to things.

You're done!

Isn't it awesome?! I think the front is a little overly busy, but other than that it's perfect. I love it, Clara loves it, and the Critters are so happy to have a home.

Easter Eggs and Cousins

2009-04-19T15:07:00.010-10:00

Just a few recent pics for your viewing pleasure:

Grandpa O. put together an exciting (and lucrative) easter egg hunt in the back yard. Clara was super excited, can you tell?

We had so much fun when the cousins came from Utah for a few days. Clara and Forrest were pretty much ecstatic from morning til night, and as a result it was the most restful couple of days I've had in a long time. Amber, can you guys come back? :)

We tried to get a cousins picture in the backyard, but Sinjin wasn't having it. The contrast of these two pictures totally cracks me up:

Awww, poor kid.

This is "awesome".

2009-04-15T06:13:00.002-10:00

I was just talking about this with the fam last night, and I think they doubted the actual prevalence of this problem. So just to prove that I'm not crazy:

Go here.

A Late Night Longing

2009-04-02T19:15:00.004-10:00

The last few days I have been navigating some rough internal terrain, and now my head is a swirl of thoughts which I am struggling to bring together into some kind of understanding. This is why I am sitting at the computer instead of sleeping, even though I know that it will only be a few short hours before Forrest comes to wake me by sitting on my head (it seems to be his preferred method).

Right now all I want to say is this:

Oh, how I miss you, my far-flung friends. Why must so many pieces of my heart be so far away from each other?

Looks delicious, no?

2009-03-09T06:38:00.001-10:00

If you've ever wondered why I'm so tired all the time

2009-02-14T06:57:00.003-10:00

this is why:

Any suggestions?

It Must Be Love

2009-02-10T09:35:00.005-10:00

Zach did this on his blog and I thought it was pretty funny so I did my own. I'm a little worried about what my music is saying about me here...

Rules:
1. Put your music library on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song title as the answer to the question, no matter how silly it sounds! Most of the time they seem to work though, strangely enough.
4. Ok, go!

1) IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OK?" YOU SAY?
Ballad of Sir Frankie Crisp

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
There's A Place

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Minarets

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Baby It's You

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Digging A Ditch

6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Thank You

7) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Misery (I must be repressing something...)

8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Ants Marching

9) WHAT IS 2+2?
Somebody More Like You

10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Dreams

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Country Pie

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What a Wonderful World

13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Let It Be

14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Last Time I Saw Richard (This is really funny/awkward if you know that I once dated someone named Richard.)

15) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Two Of Us

16) WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR WEDDING?
Wah-Wah

17) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
I Will Always

18) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Cayman Islands

19) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Seek Up

20) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
I'm Just A Country Boy

21) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
It Must Be Love

Perhaps I should clarify.

2009-01-31T05:39:00.005-10:00

Well.

If I had known what a stir my last post would cause I probably would have restrained myself from writing it. How controversial one's eating choices can be!

Anyway, I just want to say that I was probably using the term "vegetarian" a bit too loosely. What Tim and I have discussed and plan to do is basically just stop preparing meat for ourselves, and limit our dairy consumption as much we feel is reasonable. We will undoubtedly still eat meat from time to time, and will happily enjoy any meat-containing meals that anyone might be generous enough to prepare for us. :)

I'm still not going to go into reasons, mainly because Tim wants to co-author any in-depth discussions of the topic, but I just wanted to define the position a bit since just dropping the v-word like that seemed to get everybody a little worked up.

Have you TRIED this stuff?!

2009-01-29T15:57:00.004-10:00

Tim and I are aspiring vegetarians. By "aspiring" I mean we plan on becoming vegetarians once we get settled again. Maybe at some point I will blog about our motivations for this, but that is not my intention tonight. We have made a couple of attempts at it before, but have not had any sort of prolonged success. I think there are two main reasons for this: lack of an organized approach (menu planning) and a general dislike (mostly on my part) of the kind of foods that are usually associated with vegetarian eating.

One of my biggest obstacles has been dairy. Now, I know that I could technically be a vegetarian and still consume dairy, but dairy production is almost as bad as meat production, so I'd like to cut it out if I can. The problem is that I am a dairy addict. There are just some times when I must have milk (peanut butter, chocolate, cookies, cereal...). I've tried soy milk (and *shudder* rice milk) and while it's sippable, I don't really find it drinkable, and certainly not gulpable, and sometimes gulping really is necessary. I know people say that after a while you get used to it and might even come to prefer it, but I've never really been one for acquiring tastes.

Well today I went to the store to pick up a few snacks and while I was wandering around (the grocery stores here are so BIG), I came across this Almond Breeze stuff. It sounded kind of good so I thought I'd give it a try. When I got home I poured myself about half an inch in the bottom of a glass (I was still feeling a bit hesitant) and took a sip. Hey, I thought, this stuff's not bad. So I drank the rest and thought, Wow, this stuff's actually good! Like I would actually drink it just because it tastes good, even if I was still going to drink regular milk. It was quite a moment. I can't wait to try the chocolate. Apparently it comes in unsweetened, too, but I don't know if I'll be going there anytime soon. :) It's pretty good for you, too, even though it doesn't have the protein that soy milk has. And it's not some weird, newfangled thing--apparently almond milk been used all around the world for a very long time. It's even pretty simple to make your own and the word on the street (ok, on the internet) is that the homemade stuff is way better (isn't that the case with most things?).

Ok, so I'm probably way more excited about this than I should be, but I just thought I'd pass on the recommendation, for the sake of my fellow soy milk haters.

Now if I can just find something to replace my beloved cheese...hmm, don't see that happening any time soon.

Last lines for Tim

2009-01-25T15:56:00.004-10:00

I discovered an interesting band today whilst meandering through blogs. Really love this song. Such a great sound--and the lyrics. Original and honest and unaffected--just wonderful. Listen to the whole song because the last line is the best.

And speaking of lyrics--the other day while this song was playing on Pandora I said to Tim that I think these are the most perfect lyrics ever written. I love this song so much I want to cry every time I hear it.

My favorite part of the inauguration

2009-01-21T04:16:00.003-10:00

Japanese Tea Garden

2009-01-16T12:48:00.012-10:00

A few days ago we took the kids to visit the Japanese Tea Garden here in SA. It's a pretty awesome place with a very interesting history. It was constructed in 1918 from an old rock quarry, using prison labor and costing only $7000 ($95,646 in today's dollars).

Prior to WWII it was run by a Japanese American family who were evicted during the war due to anti-Japanese sentiment. It was then known as the Chinese Sunken Garden, but was rededicated as the Japanese Tea Garden in 1984.

I think it is fascinating how the history of this little park reflects the larger history of the area and the country during the last century. The city recently completed a$1.5 million renovation of the park (apparently they didn't use prison labor this time around) and it is really stunning.

(Sorry about the grainy pics--still getting used to the new camera.)

This could be my new favorite place.

2009-01-11T16:30:00.003-10:00

Here are two reasons why:

1. Live Oak trees:

2. My kids can play outside in January dressed like this:

I sure hope we get to stay.

Christmas photos (a little late)

2009-01-11T15:31:00.004-10:00

We got a new camera for Christmas! Thank you Mom and Dad (both sets)! I can finally put pictures on the blog again. Unfortunately, most of the pictures I have taken so far have been really lousy because I've been determined to take them without a flash and there never seems to be enough light. So here's just a few from Christmas:

Typical Forrest: Car in one hand, chocolate in the other, nasty fingerprints on the window behind him.

Clara's beloved snow globe.

Our little Fancy Nancy.

Pretty pink hair bows from Aunt Angie. (I'm so bummed that this picture is blurry because it's pretty much the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.)

Pack it up, pack it in

2008-12-15T11:52:00.003-10:00

We're packing up the computer now, so I'll be offline for...a while. Everybody have a Merry Christmas! See you next year!

I've got a lot to do

2008-12-02T05:17:00.002-10:00

I really shouldn't be blogging right now, but Corey's been showing me all kinds of blog love and it's just too irresistible! (Thanks, Corey!)

So this is the "I love your blog" award, which I am sending on to... Amberli, Crystal, and Laci! Ok, I'm supposed to tag 5 people, but I don't want repeat-tag! :)

Give one word answers with no explanation, then tag five bloggers with the "I love your blog" award.

1. Where is your cell phone ... nonexistent
2. Where is your significant other ... work
3. Your hair color ... awesome
4. Your mother ... master gardener
5. Your father ... hugs
6. Your favorite thing ... kissing
7. Your dream last night ... clueless
8. Your dream goal ... undetermined
9. Room you're in ... closet (not in the metaphorical sense)
10. Your hobby ... creating
11. Your fear ... loss
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years ... secure
13. Where were you last night ... home
14. What you're not ... tough
15. One of your wish-list items... Canon
16. Where you grew up... Longview
17. The last thing you ate... cereal
18. What are you wearing ... favorite jeans
19. Your tv ... gone
20. Your pet ... none (unless the mouse we saw in our kitchen counts)
21. Your computer ... heroin
22. Your mood ... complicated
23. Missing someone ... so many
24. Your car ... faithful
25. Something you're not wearing ... makeup
26. Favorite store ... thrift
27. Your summer ... over
28. Love someone ... Timmy
29. Your favorite color ... red
30. Last time you laughed ... bed
31. Last time you cried ... forgotten

And for those who have been asking, the move is happening 2 weeks from today. Yikes!

There's gotta be at least one person on your Christmas list who needs a ridiculously expensive journal, right?

2008-11-28T07:12:00.005-10:00

Well, now the expense is a little less ridiculous! We're jumping on the bandwagon and having an after-Thanksgiving sale in the Etsy shop. Everything's 20% off until Monday! So go buy something! Tell all your friends! I want everything gone by Monday, people! :)

2008-11-26T04:27:00.003-10:00

Inger-Lis tagged me, so here goes. I always have a hard time coming up with interesting things to say about myself for stuff like this, so this could take a while. Anyway, here are the rules:

1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog (copy and paste 1-6).
3) Write 6 random things about yourself (see below).
4) Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6) Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

I have always really wanted to shave my head. It must be some weird gene that I share with my brother. Back in my acting days I always wanted to have a role where I played a cancer patient or something so I would have a good excuse to do it.
I hate mayonnaise. Do I really need to explain why?
My favorite book is The Grapes of Wrath. A long time ago I read the ending of it without reading the rest of the book and was totally weirded out. Then several years later I read the whole book and thought the ending was one of the most moving and beautiful things I had ever read (I hope that entices you to read it if you haven't!).
I claim to be very anti-TV. Yet, I am totally addicted to Lost, The Office, and House. It's all Angie's fault for introducing me to Hulu! (Well, mostly. Lost started long before that.) But I do contend that there is a big difference between seeking out a certain show (or three) to watch online and watching an actual TV with endless advertising and endless channel-surfing capability.
I want to be Martha Stewart, minus the weirdness and jail time.
At one time I was able to do the 'N SYNC Bye, Bye, Bye dance. I have my old roommate Kim to thank for that. Maybe I should be ashamed, but I'm not.

Ok, so I think I'll make this a family affair--I tag...

and Pete!

Apparently I Lied

2008-11-21T05:44:00.004-10:00

Tim brought it to my attention after reading my last post that I actually have danced with him. For about half a song at the Beneficial Life Christmas party way back when we were living in Salt Lake. So there you go. The record is officially set straight.

The Truth

2008-11-20T15:44:00.003-10:00

So lately people have started to realize that we're moving quite soon and I've had to answer a lot of questions about what the future holds for us. Which is difficult and kind of annoying since I don't actually have the answers to any of those questions myself. Since most of the people who ask probably don't want to hear all of the ins and outs of the whole dramatic saga, I usually just say something like,

"Yeah, Tim's internship is over soon and we don't have a job yet and we have to move out of our apartment, so we're just going to pack up and move to San Antonio."

And then, of course, the next question is "why San Antonio?", to which I respond with either some variation of "why not? It's as good a place as any..." or a list of actual reasons, like:

"Tim's family is there."

"Cost of living is so much lower there."

"Housing costs in proportion to income seem to be lower there than a lot of other places (like, ahem, Boston)."

"Texas' economy is a little less crappy than the rest of the country right now."

Or several others.

But in reality, none of these is the actual reason we're going to San Antonio. I feel like I should come clean. So here it is. The real reason is this:

A month or two ago Tim told me that if we moved to San Antonio he would take me dancing.

I have never danced with my husband.

San Antonio, here we come.

She's amazing

2008-11-07T16:17:00.006-10:00

Clara brought home this little book from preschool today. I was so impressed with her artistic abilities that I just had to share. I think she's pretty much a genius. Ok, so most non-grandparent-or-mushy-aunt types will probably find this post kind of boring ("it's just a bunch of little kid pictures, what's the big deal?"), but it's really just amazing to watch your little crayon-eating, scribbling toddler magically transform into an intelligent child capable of producing recognizable pictures. It really is like magic. So without further ado, I present to you the masterpiece:

*And I have to say, I think Clara's teachers are really great, but after seeing this book I'm really glad they're not into spelling yet. Sheesh! :)

2008-11-04T07:23:00.000-10:00

DID YOU?

Now that Halloween's over

2008-11-03T05:00:00.008-10:00

Is it too early to start talking about Christmas?

I wanted to have a little chat with you all (all 5 of you) before everybody starts their Christmas shopping. I want to really encourage everyone to buy something handmade this year. Being a part of the Etsy community has been really inspiring to me. The handmade movement is taking off and I'm proud to be a part of it. There is so much good in buying handmade--it's good for people and good for the earth. Try it, you'll like it! :)

So first, join me in taking the pledge, then come with me on a little Etsy shopping trip...

You really can find something for everyone at Etsy. Kids, grown-ups, pets, men, women, crafters, geeks, Twilight fans, Star Wars fanatics, writers, chess players, poetry lovers, style gurus, music lovers, political junkies, you name it.

Looking for something silly?

Maybe kind of strange?

How about something edible?

Something to chase away the chill?

Personally, I'm a big fan of ceramics.

Even though the stuff at Etsy is great, the best part, I think, is that you get to deal with real people who have put their time and love into everything they're selling. And remember that Etsy isn't the only place to find handmade things--search for craft and indie design fairs in your area, seek out local artisans, or best of all, make something yourself!

Well, I hope I've inspired you to venture into the world of handmade this Christmas. Cuz if not, I just wasted a lot of time...

"Essentially the world just has far too much debt."

2008-10-08T04:50:00.003-10:00

This American Life does it again. I highly, highly recommend you listen to last week's show, Another Frightening Show About the Economy. I can't believe how good these guys are at explaining these complex financial/economic concepts. If you want to understand the bailout and the rest of the mess, listen to this program!

Pickin' and Grinnin'

2008-10-04T15:22:00.011-10:00

One of the funnest things about fall in New England is apple picking. Yesterday we took a much-needed break from city life and drove up to a farm in New Hampshire. The leaves are just starting to turn and it was a beautiful sunny day. It was so nice to get out and take a few deep breaths of clean country air. The kids had a great time and the apples we got are delicious. (Honeycrisp. If you have not tried this variety of apple I want you to stop reading, turn away from your computer, and go find some. Now. I don't think you can find them in a lot of places so you may have to drive through a few states. It's worth it.) Poor Tim can't eat any because he has one of the weirdest allergies on the planet, it's sad. Anyway, I don't think there's much I can say to add anything to these pictures, so I'll just let them speak for themselves.

*I uploaded these pretty big in case grandparents (and others) want to download them--just click to see the big photo, right click to save it. And try not to notice the huge bruise in the middle of Forrest's forehead.

I'm no expert, but these guys are.

2008-09-30T03:34:00.005-10:00

I just got this email from Michael Moore (yes, I'm on his mailing list... can we still be friends?). Now, I always take everything he says with a big grain of salt because, well, he's Michael Moore, but today's email had a link to something very interesting. It's a letter, signed by 100 economists at some of the nation's top universities, sent to congress regarding the bailout plan.

I don't pretend to know a great deal about the economy, and I have no idea what the answer to the economic crisis is, but the whole bailout thing really doesn't sit right with me. I couldn't help but feel incredibly relieved (maybe even a little giddy) that it actually didn't pass yesterday. Right or wrong, it made me happy to know that "we the people" didn't just take this one lying down--that we sent our representatives a strong enough message that they couldn't not listen. Right on.

Anyway, back to the letter. I thought I'd paste it here so you all could read it, too. Don't worry, it's short. And awesome. (Emphasis added by yours truly.)

To the Speaker of the House of Representatives and the President pro tempore of the Senate:

As economists, we want to express to Congress our great concern for the plan proposed by Treasury Secretary Paulson to deal with the financial crisis. We are well aware of the difficulty of the current financial situation and we agree with the need for bold action to ensure that the financial system continues to function. We see three fatal pitfalls in the currently proposed plan:

1) Its fairness. The plan is a subsidy to investors at taxpayers’ expense. Investors who took risks to earn profits must also bear the losses. Not every business failure carries systemic risk. The government can ensure a well-functioning financial industry, able to make new loans to creditworthy borrowers, without bailing out particular investors and institutions whose choices proved unwise.

2) Its ambiguity. Neither the mission of the new agency nor its oversight are clear. If taxpayers are to buy illiquid and opaque assets from troubled sellers, the terms, occasions, and methods of such purchases must be crystal clear ahead of time and carefully monitored afterwards.

3) Its long-term effects. If the plan is enacted, its effects will be with us for a generation. For all their recent troubles, America's dynamic and innovative private capital markets have brought the nation unparalleled prosperity. Fundamentally weakening those markets in order to calm short-run disruptions is desperately short-sighted.

For these reasons we ask Congress not to rush, to hold appropriate hearings, and to carefully consider the right course of action, and to wisely determine the future of the financial industry and the U.S. economy for years to come.

If you'd like to peruse the list of signers, the link is here.

The way I see it is this: this problem was not created in a day, or a week, or even a month. It's not going to be solved in a day, or a week, or a month. It's certainly not going to be solved by one crazy, haphazardly slapped together bill. Everybody needs to just take a deep breath. So maybe the stock market's going to tank for a little while. I understand that that is probably much more terrifying for people at or near retirement than it is for me. But I doubt that just indiscriminately throwing obscene amounts of money at the problem is going to be any better.

So take a deep breath, Congress. Take the time you need to get it right, or at least a little closer to right. I, for one, am willing to wait.

I'm really not trying to harp on Palin again...

2008-09-29T04:50:00.001-10:00

...but this is just too hilarious.

Are. You. Kidding. Me.

2008-09-13T07:18:00.004-10:00

*I must preface this post by saying that I am fully aware that many, perhaps most, of my family and and friends who read this blog are McCain supporters, or at least Republicans who will support McCain by default because of Obama's liberal stance on social issues. That's ok. I still love you. I have no wish to offend. But sometimes...well, I've just got to say what's on my mind.

*I must also preface this post by requesting that everyone keep their comments civil. Feel free to disagree, just try to be nice about it.

I have, for the most part, stayed away from blogging about my political views. Mainly because, although I feel that I am comparatively well-informed about politics, I am still less well-informed than I would like to be and I don't want to risk making a fool of my self and/or alienating people who have come to different conclusions than my own. But right now, I feel like I've got something to say and I want to say it.

The latest polls are saying that McCain has managed to squeak past Obama for the lead in the presidential race. This bump is undoubtedly a result of the convention and his choice of Palin as a running mate. Which kind of scares me. The convention, from what I saw of it, was a bit disturbing. It's tone in general was derisive and condescending. The mockery of Obama's experience as a community organizer would have frustrated and saddened me even if I was not an Obama supporter (which I am, although not without reservations). And the choice of Palin as running mate is even more disturbing. It just doesn't make sense. To use Matt Damon's words, it's absurd. I heard on NPR a few days ago that even as recently as a week before McCain announced his pick, he wanted to choose Joe Lieberman but was talked out of it by his campaign advisors. Now, I don't know that I have any great love for Lieberman either, but at least that choice would have made sense. At least it would have been consistent with his former views and political style, and probably would have been more true to his own desires. But choosing Palin is, I think, a shameless pandering to the extreme(ist) evangelical right and a pathetic (not to mention insulting) grab at the female vote.

But the really scary thing is that, apparently, we are falling for it.

Over the course of this campaign I have watched John McCain morph from someone who was almost universally acclaimed as being principled, courageous, and independent, into just another opportunist Republican fathead. (Please don't take that comment to mean that all Republicans are fatheads. Or that fatheads are limited to the Republican Party. There are fatheads in every party. It's just that I've really had enough of the Republican variety.) I have watched him squirm out of positions that he used to hold with pride, just to appease a party that in the past he would have bucked without a second thought. I think that Palin is just the latest example.

Maybe the fault really lies with the political process. After all, it's not like anyone could even hope to win the presidency without full and enthusiastic backing from one of the two major parties. But, even though I was for Obama pretty early on, I really expected more from McCain. I am disappointed in him, and I wonder if, on some level, he's disappointed with himself. Not that I would presume to know, but I think that maybe the John McCain of just a few years ago would be.

First Day

2008-09-09T04:11:00.008-10:00

Well, it finally came. After many, many months of waiting, Clara had her first day of school yesterday. I thought she would be pretty nervous and shy (since she usually is) but was I wrong! We met up with everyone in the cafeteria and then lined up in classes and walked down to the rooms. When we got there she was so ready to go that I almost didn't get a goodbye. After I got my hug out of her she walked over to the carpet for circle time and never looked back. So then...I just left. And it was so hard! I was able to hold off the tears until I got out of the building, since I didn't think it would be good for the hordes of on-the-verge-of-tears preschoolers to see one of the moms bawling her eyes out, but I cried most of the way home in the quiet, quiet car. Then after we got home, Forrest and I shared our best peach yet (we've been sharing a lot of them lately) and that helped. It's nice to have time to spend with him, just the two of us. And it's nice that he still takes awesome naps so I will actually have quiet, still, alone time EVERY DAY! Oh my gosh, it's like I've won the lottery.

Tim and I had the exact same reaction when we saw this picture: "She looks so small!"

Doesn't that look like the most awesomely fun school ever?

When I came to pick her up at the end of the morning (full days start next week), she really didn't want to go and all day long she kept saying, "Mom, I really, really, really, really loved school!"

My pretty little grown up girl.

"Now I'm going to do my cheesy smile!"

Mega Marbling Monday

2008-09-02T08:40:00.003-10:00

The best-selling thing in our Etsy shop so far has definitely been our marbled papers. Probably just because they're the cheapest thing in there, but I'm going to give us the benefit of the doubt and say it's because they're so beautiful. So we've been wanting to get some more papers ready for a while, but Tim is so swamped that it just hasn't happened. So since he had yesterday off, I declared the day "Mega Marbling Monday" and marbled pretty much from sunup to sundown. Which meant that Tim got stuck with the kids all day (sorry, Tim!), since kids + paint + goopy carageenan size (the stuff you float the paint on) = disaster. And I don't need any help in the disaster department, as evidenced by the cup of RED paint that I spilled all over the kitchen floor and the narrowly avoided broken leg (me + wet floor + crappy flip flops = disaster). But at the end of the day, the kitchen and I were still in one piece and I had produced a decent stack of lovely marbled papers. I was so pleased with how they turned out. Here a couple of examples--the rest will be up in the shop soon. Not bad, eh?

You should read this book

2008-08-16T04:06:00.004-10:00

I just finished reading Ron Paul's book. I am of the opinion that anyone who cares about the political situation in the US right now should read it. Whether you agree with his political philosophy or not (which I found myself doing surprisingly frequently), he raises vitally important questions and issues that simply are not being addressed by the mainstream media or the campaigns of the major candidates. His focus on freedom and devotion to the constitution reveal just how far our government has departed from the one envisioned by our founding fathers. He writes in plain english and explains himself in a way that even the most politically unengaged can understand. (One of my favorite examples: "Where does the Fed get the money...? It creates it out of thin air, simply writing checks on itself and giving them to banks. If that sounds fishy, you understand it just fine.") And while he makes no effort to soften the impact of what he is saying, he is full of hope that there is still time to change our course. If I was more eloquent and had more time I would write an extensive review, but for now I just say, read it.

Firsts

2008-08-16T03:53:00.003-10:00

In the midst of the general misery of the last few weeks, there have been a few bright spots, the biggest and brightest of which has been Forrest. His never failing smile gets me through every day. A few days ago he took his first steps and said his first word (on the same day!). His first word was, "whoa," which I think is so awesome. Now he's saying it all the time, when he falls down or we swing him or he drops his toy (over and over and over). Unfortunately, we don't have video of either the steps or the words, because during an attempt to take a video of the first steps Clara lost her temper and threw the camera on the floor and broke it (she really knows how to ruin the moment, doesn't she?). So if anybody wants to see the Colonel strut his stuff, you'll just have to come to Boston and visit.

In which I complain loudly and feel sorry for myself

2008-08-15T00:57:00.007-10:00

I'm amazed by people who look for the good in life even as it's falling apart around them. Apparently I'm not one of those people. The last few weeks have been...uh...a challenge, to put it mildly. I'm thinking about changing the name of my blog to "crammed with crap" to more accurately reflect the current situation. I'm sure no one wants to hear me whine at length, so I'm just going to list the goings-on of late, to get it out of my system.

Chicken pox
Bedbugs (Hell. There is no other word to describe the experience.)
A treatment for bedbugs (which is incredibly expensive and almost worse than the infestation itself)
Tense dealings with our suddenly snotty landlady (bedbugs will do that to a property owner)
A trash citation ($50--we're contesting it)
2 parking tickets ($75--completely a result of forgetfulness and thus not contestable)
A broken digital camera (probably the worst timing ever for this, since Tim is urgently trying to get his website up and running. Thanks, Clara.)

There is more. I just can't remember what right now. But we're not just sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves. This is how we deal with stress around here:

How to cure a craigslist addiction

2008-08-03T14:25:00.003-10:00

That's Tim's leg, not mine.

And yes, those are bedbug bites.

I might not be blogging for a while, seeing as I'll be cleaning, scrubbing, vaccuuming, sealing, washing, spraying with chemicals, and/or throwing out MY ENTIRE LIFE. Wish me luck.

So much more wonderful...

2008-07-22T09:57:00.003-10:00

I generally try very hard to resist the urge to write schmaltzy things about my husband on this blog. There are two reasons for this. 1) I suspect that it would embarrass him terribly. 2) Let's be honest, few things are more barfy than when someone goes on and on about how perfect and sweet and romantic and blah blah blah their husband is. So with that disclaimer out of the way, I hope I can be forgiven (by you, blogosphere, and by you, Tim) for indulging myself just this once.

Over the last couple of years I have resisted the occasional efforts of friends to convince me to read the Twilight books, mainly because of this post by Geo, whose opinion I value greatly (and with whom I totally agree, now that I have actually read one). Yesterday when my brother-in-law left his copy here while he and his wife went sight-seeing, I thought I would just have a little peek to see what all the fuss was about. Well, I had finished half the book by the time they came home in the afternoon and Matt was generous enough to give me his copy and buy a replacement at the airport so I could finish it without interruption. So I spent nearly the whole day yesterday reading the silly thing (and shirking my housewifely responsibilities). And the whole time I was thinking about how ironic it was that even while I recognized how ridiculous the whole thing was I still felt it somehow thrilling enough to not be able to put it down. It brought back all of those silly preteen fantasies about love, complete with accompanying heart palpitations. (Yes, I am embarrassed to admit this.) I was surprised at my vulnerability to such silliness and at how much I enjoyed indulging in that kind of emotion. And maybe just a little disgusted with myself that I could enjoy something so much while disagreeing so strongly with many aspects of it (read Geo's post if you've read the book and don't get what aspects I'm talking about).

Anyway, when Tim came home in the evening we went for a little walk around the neighborhood to ease Clara's restlessness. I was mulling all this over in my mind, feeling a little silly at remembering my own girlish dreams of a life full of nothing but passion and romance (how exhausting!). Then I glanced up at my husband, pushing along the back of my daughter's tricycle, and thought, 'Ah, but he's so much more wonderful.'

And so he is. I'm so glad that the love of my life hasn't lived up to my girlhood dreams. What a silly love that would have been. And how much I would have missed.

2008-06-11T15:44:00.001-10:00

She wanted to try on my wedding dress today.

I told her

2008-06-11T15:27:00.005-10:00

at least 27 times not to try to carry around the 10 pound bag of sugar. But then I made the mistake of turning my back to fiddle with some papers and what do I suddenly hear? A strange rushing sound accompanied by a frantic, hyperventilating, "oh-no-oh-no-I'm-sorry-Mom-I'm-sorry-I'm sorry!"

But my favorite part is how, after being relieved of the gushing bag, she immediately stepped right on top of the (5 pound) pile, in case I got any crazy ideas about salvaging some of the unsoiled sugar.

The End of the Beginning

2008-06-07T14:52:00.011-10:00

Well, I'm a little late getting this post up, but last Friday was the big day--graduation! It was a really fantastic day. The weather was perfect, the people were charming, the food was delicious, and I was so proud of my Timmy. The pictures:

Sullivan Square station, where Tim's daily journey began (and still will until December). You can see the enthusiasm on his face. He loves the T. Loves it sooo much.

First we went to the school for a yummy waffle breakfast to honor the graduates.

The first year students presented their mentors with a custom made diploma cover. Tim's "mentee" (he prefers "Telemachus"), Katherine, did a beautiful job.

The freshly signed bench. At the end of each year the students sign the bench they occupied that year. Tim's bench last year was also Mark Pollei's (his former boss--the guy who got us into all this!) and his bench this year was Jim Reid-Cunningham's (his boss at the Athenaeum). The world of bookbinding is kind of a small one.

I had to take this picture just because I thought it was funny. The second-years were responsible for making paste and for some reason they liked to give the paste names. I think my favorites are the "Cone of Silence Paste" and the "Daddy, where were you? paste".

The graduation ceremony was held at the Old North Church (of "one if by land, two if by sea" fame--it was two, by the way. Ok, yes, I had to look it up), which is conveniently located right next door to the school. It was such an awesome place to have a graduation, except that you can't see what's going on at the front from a single seat in the whole church. But that's ok because, come on, it's the Old North Church!

The bookbinding graduates in their little cubicle. Aren't they cute?

The big moment--hooray!

The graduates in the "St. Francis reflection garden" behind the church after the ceremony. I couldn't help making a few polygamy jokes while taking this picture.

Chillin' with St. Francis

And here it is folks, the piece of paper.

"We'll meet you under the clock at 11:30." I'll always remember the times when we went to meet Tim for lunch, pushing Clara up the crazy narrow North End sidewalk as she anxiously looked for "the clock" so she could announce that we were almost there. Any day when you get to have Ernesto's pizza for lunch is a good day.

After the graduation we went to a classmate's house for a celebratory BBQ, which would have been a perfectly respectable vegan affair if it weren't for Tim and the copious amounts of meat he insisted on bringing (for which we are truly grateful). Clara found a new best buddy in Tim's teacher's son. Watch out, Carter, I think you might have a little competition!

Forrest and his mammoth hands enjoying the BBQ

A few last games of table hockey

Jeff and Mark, the instructors.

So now the real work begins:

I sold a book!

2008-05-26T14:47:00.003-10:00

I am very proud of myself--I sold my first book in our Etsy shop! This is the first book we've sold that was completely mine--my design, made entirely by me, including the super cool paste paper:

It's probably a bit silly to be so proud of a little notebook (especially since it's probably the easiest binding method ever), but I am. I think it's because I did it all independently, with only the slightest suggestions from The Master Binder. It's just really gratifying to have someone like something I've made enough to actually buy it! Anybody else want to buy one?

Ok, out with it!

2008-05-26T14:33:00.002-10:00

Attention Cambridge 1st Ward Lurkers!

I had a couple of people come clean with me that they've found my blog, but they both conveniently forgot who it was that ratted me out. So I'm incredibly curious to know how you guys are finding me--I've been clicking around all of the ward blogs that I know of trying to find a link to me and I can't find one anywhere. Anybody willing to come clean?

(P.S. This huffiness is completely put on--I'm really happy you guys are here!)

It was either this or a padded room

2008-05-24T14:53:00.007-10:00

I made the Li'l Colonel a helmet today. Isn't it hilarious? I just couldn't take hearing the sickening thud of a soft little head on a hard wood floor one more time, so I cut up some foam I've been hanging onto forever and an old receiving blanket and voila!, a comfy little head cushion to protect his wee noggin. (Do you like how in this picture he's actually crawling over the baby gate that has been knocked to the ground?)

Adrift

2008-05-23T16:29:00.003-10:00

What am I going to do with myself?

A few days ago I was talking to a couple of friends (as we tried to keep track of our kids at the zoo) about the stay-at-home/working mom issue/dilemma/battle. At one point I made a comment something along these lines:

"I guess if I had left an actual career instead of just weird random jobs, or felt like I had a real contribution to make in that world, I would feel more conflicted about the whole thing. But I kind of feel like there's nothing there for me so I have pretty much no desire to work." (Ok, that's not really that close to what I actually said, but it's what I was trying to say.) My comment was met with conspicuous silence. A cricket chirped somewhere. Ok, maybe they were just distracted by their kids and I shouldn't read too much into that pause, but it has kind of been stewing in my mind ever since.

'Am I some kind of loser or something? Does it make me a lesser woman that I am not sacrificing some great and promising achievement for the sake of my children? Am I just staying home because I don't really have anything else I want to do? Why don't I have any kind of driving passion or lofty ambition in my life? I used to, where did that go?'

And so on. I have been alternating between moods of restlessness and listlessness for months now. I don't know where I'm going, and I don't know where I want to go, which is unfamiliar ground for me. I guess I've been there at times in my life, but never for very long. Certainly never for this long. I feel that there is something I'm meant to be doing and I can't figure out what it is. I mean, I know I'm meant to be doing what I am doing in regard to my children, but there is still a void. The one thing I do know is that this void is not going to be filled by a lame part-time job that doesn't do much to help us out financially anyway. People make suggestions to me (and don't get me wrong, I appreciate them, feel free to keep 'em coming) and my internal response is often just kind of a shrug. I don't know if I'm just lacking drive or confidence (although it's becoming increasingly apparent that I'm probably lacking both) or if there really is just some thing out there that is waiting for me to stumble upon it. At any rate, I am feeling a little lost, a little directionless. And thus I have no tidy ending for this post.

Today's Economics Lesson

2008-05-20T01:56:00.002-10:00

If, like me, you have been a bit mystified by the whole "sub-prime mortgage crisis," "global credit crunch," or whatever you want to call it, and why the whole thing is such a big freakin' deal, listen to this program (click on the "full episode" link under the picture). And even if you're not that interested in it (and you should be), you should listen anyway--it's really compelling. I heard most of it on the radio on Sunday afternoon and I was just enthralled (so much so that I'm going to listen to it again as soon as I finish typing this). It's a really stellar piece of journalism--the most informative and understandable piece I've heard on this topic, or maybe on any topic. I actually feel like I get it now, and that's kind of a big deal. Isn't that what journalists are supposed to do? Help you understand important stuff? It's kind of long, so give yourself time, but it's well worth a listen (or two). LONG LIVE PUBLIC RADIO! (Here comes my pledge drive guilt...I promise, once we have an income I'll contribute, really!)

Heaven Help Us

2008-05-13T15:05:00.006-10:00

In the last week, Forrest has gone from this...

to this...

along with about 5 other milestones. Wasn't he just born, like, three weeks ago? Sigh. Time is moving heartbreakingly fast these days. But don't get me wrong, I'm bursting with pride.

Her colors were blush and bashful

2008-05-09T16:21:00.010-10:00

I promised some people I would post pictures of Clara's birthday. So here are a whole bunch:

This was what was waiting for her outside her bedroom door when she woke up. Since we were having her party kind of late we thought we'd let her have her parent and grandparent gifts first thing in the morning. She's been begging us for a toy box for a while now and we got a pretty good deal on this one off craigslist. She loves it.

Opening her princess tea set from Grandma and Grandpa T. The next day when we were playing with it I went through and told her what all the different pieces were for. She was very excited that there was a bowl just for her favorite thing, sugar, and said she wanted to play with real sugar in the sugar bowl. So I indulged her. And came back five minutes later to find her eating the sugar by the spoonful, of course.

Forrest had lots of fun digging for big sister's (totally off-limits) treasures.

Her brand new princess dress from Grandma and Grandpa O.

And what is a princess without her cell phone? (I know you can't really tell, but that's what's in the package.) She LOVES that phone.

Wearing her dress at the party with the totally adorable little work apron that her friend Monica made for her. (Monica is in Daddy's program at school and sometimes babysits. I just love it that she invited her grown-up friends, too.) The apron was my favorite of all her presents--you can't see it that well in this picture, but it really is so cute.

The lovely, happy princess and her cute friends. She was so happy. There was only one minor meltdown because she didn't want to let all the other kids have a turn at the pinata. (Notice poor Forrest abandoned in the stroller in the background. He was so good and happy the whole party even though he was totally neglected by his mother. I really don't deserve him.)

THE CAKE...

I forgot to take a picture of the cute little Cinderella carriage cupcakes that I made to go with it, but trust me, they were fabulous.

I think she liked it.

THE PINATA...

She was so excited that she got to help.

Almost done, and...

TADA! I was so proud of it. It ended up being a little bit of an ordeal to get it finished on time (advice: let the each layer dry before adding the next. Obvious? Maybe. Don't rub it in) , but it was worth it. Any time I can spend hours and hours making something lovely so that a bunch of small children can smash it to pieces is time well spent.

It was really a wonderful day. I had so much fun putting it all together and I think that Clara really did feel like a princess on her special day.

Time to put away the hairshirt, or, Have you thanked your body today?

2008-04-30T04:44:00.003-10:00

I heard the first part of this interview yesterday on the way home from my knitting group and was extraordinarily impacted by some of the things the guest said. Dr. Dan Gottlieb is a successful psychologist and NPR personality and has been quadriplegic for nearly 30 years. His health is starting to deteriorate, but he has a very different perspective on his body than most people. Here are a few of the things he said:

"My body has served me nobly. It has worked very hard, way above and beyond. ...[I am] deeply, deeply grateful, and I care for my body like it is a fragile lover that I adore. ...I feel great compassion and gratitude for it."

For some reason, I can't stop thinking about that idea of having gratitude and compassion for one's body. The sort of medieval tradition of antagonism toward our bodies persists, and is in some ways stronger than ever, in our society today. I think that we all fall victim to it in one way or another. It was like a revelation to me to think about being grateful to my body--not just grateful for it in some vague way, but to actually think of it as an independent entity that has served me "nobly" and made possible all that I am. And for heaven's sake, if a quadriplegic can show such tender gratitude for a body that, to the interpretation of most people, has so profoundly limited him, how easy it should be for me to change my thinking about my own healthy and capable body. So today I am attempting to begin a fundamental change in my thinking. Here are a few of my beginnings:

Instead of cursing your tendency to accumulate extra pounds, I will thank you for the two perfect miracles you have given me.
Instead of bemoaning your lack of energy, I will thank you for your superhuman ability to overcome sleep deprivation, less-than-ideal nutrition, and lack of meaningful exercise, and just keep going.
Instead of feeling cheated by your inclination toward depression, I will thank you for allowing me moments of perfect joy.

I am still forming a lot of ideas on this topic. Obviously, I have found this whole idea very thought provoking. I'd love to hear your thoughts, too.

Exactly what I needed today.

2008-04-26T09:16:00.002-10:00

I recently discovered this wonderful blog and was reading back a few months and found this video. So hilarious.

"Mommies always scream into their pillows when they're happy."

Goodbye, old...friend?

2008-04-20T15:46:00.013-10:00

We got rid of our couch this week. I've been wanting to get rid of it for a long time. It had many not-so-redeeming qualities. First of all, it was a beast. It was way too big for every apartment we've lived in since we got married (3 of them). It was simply impossible to create a pleasing seating arrangement with it because it completely overpowered the living room. Its boxy design made it feel like a huge brick that was taking up half of the room and crowding out everything else. It was pretty cheap, as couches go, and showed it pretty quickly. The color faded drastically on the top of the back cushions and the supposedly stain-resistant fabric seemed actually to have quite an affinity for stains. And it was this couch that taught us our first lessons in the evils of consumer debt. Its one redeeming quality was that it was really, really comfortable. Sunday-afternoon-nap comfortable (as long as you took the back cushions off first so that they didn't push you off onto the floor while you slept).

So you'd think I would have been ecstatic to get rid of the thing. I thought so, too. When I found the immensely more practical, size-appropriate, and attractive chairs dirt cheap on craigslist, I eagerly snatched them up, excited to finally start a new era in our living room furnishings. But then when I took the pictures of The Beast and started to compose the craigslist ad to get rid of her, this inexplicable sadness started to tug at my heart. Did I really want to do this? Would I regret not having that huge expanse of comfiness to rely on? And eventually it started to dawn on me why I was feeling so hesitant, even though I was finally doing what I have wanted to do for years. Even a couch, even an unloved and unappreciated couch, is a receptacle for memories. It was on that couch that Tim and I snuggled up to watch movies as newlyweds (back in the days when we had a TV), and where I accidentally flung salsa all over the place that one time. It was on that couch that I sat to nurse my little baby Clara so many nights, and where we've curled up to read so many books together. It's where our friends and family have slept over, where I've knitted a thousand hours and a hundred gifts (ok, maybe fifty), where I've sat with Tim and cried over silly and not-so-silly things. Maybe I am a little too anchored in the material things of life. Maybe I need to remember that the memories will stay even if the physical things they are tied to move on. But it was a bittersweet moment to watch The Beast being loaded into that pick-up truck. Thankfully, she has found a new home with some very nice college girls (who seemed to be over the moon about her) and will undoubtedly go on to live a much more exciting life than she has heretofore lived. I'm sure she will be very happy. But I kind of hope she will miss us now and then, because I'm sure we'll miss her, too.

In the end, I'm actually very pleased with the new arrangements. For the first time since I got married I feel like I have a living room that feels like a living room. And I felt so daring putting everything on the diagonal! I'm still planning a few finishing touches (I can't wait to get started embroidering the new cushion covers, and what in heaven's name am I going to do with those windows?), but I really feel like it's a much more inviting space now. So I am happy. It's been a good week.

Google Reader--Friend or Foe?

2008-04-12T05:27:00.002-10:00

Some of you may have noticed my total absence from the blogging world lately. It's not my fault. It's Google Reader. I started using it a few weeks ago, and now that I don't have to actually visit people's individual blogs I have been totally slacking off about leaving comments. And because I don't have to visit my own blog for the sake of my links anymore I'm not being constantly reminded that I haven't posted anything for a long time. So I'm sorry, everyone, that I have pulled a disappearing act on you lately--I am still reading and loving you all. And I will probably be doing some real blogging again soon, but life has been just busy lately. I've been trying to find a way to be a little more involved in our financial livelihood and that's been taking a fair bit of my time. And chasing my newly mobile little boy around is taking up most of the rest! I think he is probably going to pursue a career in either writing or electronics, since paper and computer cords seem to be his favorite things.

A perfect description of many an evening at our house (courtesy of Henry James)

2008-03-18T16:40:00.003-10:00

"But the two for the most part sat silent; the old man with his head back and his eyes closed, his wife occupied with her knitting and wearing that appearance of rare profundity with which some ladies consider the movement of their needles."

But then, I always seem to have an appearance of rare profundity, don't I?

Clara gets down

2008-03-15T14:37:00.003-10:00

She calls it "the hoola hoop dance."

Punxsutawney Phil, you will feel my wrath!

2008-03-12T08:23:00.004-10:00

Today is turning out not to be the most stellar day. After a near meltdown (me, not the three year old) getting the kids into the car in the driveway and another getting them into the car in the shopping center parking lot, I thought it might be good for me to take a deep breath and remember some of the things that make me happy. So I am following Geo's example and doing a thankful list.

I am grateful for:

the soothing medicinal properties of chocolate
rainy day entertainment in the form of the dollar store
"Rhinestone Cowboy" on the dollar store radio
comfy shoes
the stimulus package
a husband who never complains, even when he walks through the door at the end of a long day and has a baby and a bottle thrust into his arms:
Firefox
pbskids.org
the way that the cars driving by in the rain/snow outside sound like ocean waves
GRANDMA CAMP! (even though it's still 4 months away)
Bhangra
my cluttered, impossible to organize, warm, comfy, full of love home
Dr. Weissbluth
real Sudafed
the sunshine that just broke through the clouds and fell through the living room window

I feel better already.

All right, already

2008-03-10T15:10:00.002-10:00

Since a certain person whom I shall not name is pestering me to update, I will drag myself from my sick bed to bestow upon you all a few of my thoughts. I was going to bestow upon you a few of my photos, but since Blogger doesn't appear to be giving me that option right now my thoughts will have to suffice.
We are going on week #3 now of the mysterious eye infection and the head cold from hell (sorry to offend my more sensitive readers, but no other description is adequate). Clara, Forrest, and I have all been very sick and very grumpy (well, Forrest hasn't been grumpy, he's pretty much perfect, but Clara and I have been grumpy enough to make up for it) and being trapped in the house together all the time hasn't helped the situation. But c'est la vie. Hopefully we are coming to the end of it now. I don't know how Tim has escaped all of this. Of course I wouldn't want him to have to suffer, but it does seem incredibly unfair.
So to try to keep from going crazy, I have picked up my embroidery again after a long hiatus and have become newly inspired. I really love embroidery, but I really don't love most of the embroidery that you see around. The cutesy back-stitched kitty-cats and cross-stitched hearts just don't do it for me. I love the kind of embroidery that they did a few hundred years ago--elegant, incredibly detailed, and, unfortunately for me, incredibly difficult. So although I have done a fair amount of embroidery I have very few finished projects to show for it. Mostly I've just done a lot of practicing. Part of the problem is that it's pretty difficult to find good patterns in the style I like and I just haven't had much luck coming up with my own designs. But anyway, I really want to embroider a panel for Tim to incorporate into a book. Maybe for the binding on a Jane Austen or something. Or maybe something for a photo album/scrapbook. I don't think he's too crazy about the idea actually (since he becomes conspicuously silent whenever I start talking about it), but I think it would be cool. Anyway, I'll maybe post some photos of my progress if any of this inspiration comes to anything.
The other thing I've been doing to stay sane is a bit of reading. I've started The Portrait of a Lady. I'm only a few chapters in, but man, can that Henry James write a snazzy sentence. A couple of examples: "Tall, lean, loosely and feebly put together, he had an ugly, sickly, witty, charming face, furnished, but by no means decorated, with a straggling moustache and whisker." "A crude, cold rain fell heavily; the spring-time was indeed an appeal--and it seemed a cynical, insincere appeal--to patience." So far it is an incredibly enjoyable read. It requires alertness and close attention, but amply rewards the effort. The other book I have been reading is a beautiful coffee table book that Tim checked out about the Arts and Crafts movement. I am a bit ashamed to admit that I have only had a vague familiarity with the A&C movement before now (shame on you, Humanities 202 professor!), since the life Tim and I are attempting to carve out for ourselves is in large part being shaped by the kinds of ideas that inspired the A&C. If you want to understand why in the world we are doing this crazy bookbinding thing, study the thinkers behind the A&C. A few quotes to get you started:
"Men are grown mechanical in head and in heart, as well as in hand. They have lost faith in individual endeavor, and in natural force, of any kind." -Thomas Carlyle
"We have much studied and much perfected, of late, the great civilized invention of the division of labour; only we give it a false name. It is not, truly speaking, the labour that is divided; but the men:-Divided into mere segments of men; broken into small fragments and crumbs of life; so that all the little piece of intelligence that is left in a man is not enough to make a pin, or a nail, but exhausts itself in making the point of a pin or the head of a nail." -John Ruskin
"The right question to ask, respecting all ornament, is simply this: Was it done with enjoyment--was the carver happy while he was about it?" -John Ruskin
To be sure, it is a very different world now than the world of early industrialization that these men were responding to. But so much of what they said still resonates, at least for me. Not only the high-minded sort of ideas I just quoted, but the idea that beauty and joy and life can and should be infused into the things we occupy ourselves with and surround ourselves with every day. Some might think that it is a waste of effort and time and money (capitalists!) to put so much into the creation of a book (or a quilt, or a piece of furniture...), but I think it is a wonderful thing to hold in your hand, to use and enjoy, something that someone has poured a little piece of their heart and soul into. That is so much more exciting to me than a painting hanging on a wall in an art gallery. So anyway, I am finding the whole thing very inspiring. Anybody want to move out to the country and start a craft collective?

I'm not dead yet...

2008-03-01T09:11:00.002-10:00

...but I think I'm getting close. Is it spring yet?